Clement Roberts
Aug 26, 2017 · 12 min read
Now Entering the Ring of Fire

ClemNotes: The Political Week In Review (8/26)

Artists Resist!

President’s Council on Arts & Humanities (last week): We are all resigning in protest.

Carmen De Lavallade, Norman Lear, Lionel Richie: None of us will meet with Trump in connection with our Kennedy Center honors this week.

Hello? Trump? Go F — k yourself

Trump: Fine. I won’t go to the Kennedy Center awards this year.

Deborah Rutter (Kennedy Center President): “We are grateful for this gesture,” because, really no one wanted him here and it was going to be very embarrassing to have the award winners use their acceptances speeches to go after him.

How Do You Spell “Freudian Slip?”

Spelling has never been my strong suit

Nicholas Thompson (Editor of Wired): “He deleted the tweet, so it’s not clear if he meant ‘heel,’ ‘heal,’ or ‘heil.’”

Glasses? We Don’t Need No Stinking Glasses.

Trump: I know that all the scientists say that you shouldn’t look at the eclipse without glasses. But, as you know from my beliefs on global warming, I don’t believe in science.

I have tremendous eyes.

Trump Aide (yelling): Don’t look!

Trump: Fine, I’ll wear the glasses. How do I look?

Not good. But to be fair, no one looks good in those glasses.

Daniel Kammen (Science Envoy for the State Department): I am going to resign. No, it’s not because Trump displayed his utter contempt for science by looking at the sun during the eclipse, but because his “decision to abdicate the leadership opportunities and the job creation benefits of the Paris Climate Accord and to undermine energy and environmental research are not acceptable to me.” And, as I am a big fan of the resignation letter from Trump’s counsel on Arts & Humanities, I am going to borrow their trick and insert a message into the first letter of each paragraph of my resignation letter. (“I — M — P — E — A — C — H”)

Erdogan (President of Turkey): We are going to introduce new textbooks which will eliminate the teaching of evolution on the grounds that it is not compatible with Islamic teachings. One thing I know for sure is that we won’t get push back from the Americans this time around.

“The past was alterable. The past had never been altered. Oceania was at war with Eastasia. Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia.”

Trump (October 2011): “When will we stop wasting our money on rebuilding Afghanistan? We must rebuild our country first”

Trump (February 2012): “It is time to get out of Afghanistan. We are building roads and schools for people that hate us. It is not in our national interests”

Trump: (August 2012): “Why are we continuing to train these Afghanis … Afghanistan is a complete waste. Time to come home!”

Trump (March 2013): “I agree with Pres. Obama on Afghanistan. We should have a speedy withdrawal. Why should we keep wasting our money — rebuild the U.S.!”

Trump (October 2015): “We made a terrible mistake getting involved there in the first place.”

Trump (8/21/17): We are going to put more troops into Afghanistan and commit to being there until we win. I cannot tell you what victory will look like, how we will achieve it, what I am going to do differently than everyone else in order to achieve it — only that I am going to win.

Jamaluddin Badr (Afghan High Peace Council): “That’s the same strategy going on the last two decades. He said we’re going to win, but he didn’t make it clear how we’re going to win.”

Kasich (R-Ohio): “Sixteen years and the lives of over 2,000 American heroes are more than enough of a price to have paid to eradicate a terrorist sanctuary. America cannot afford to make an open-ended commitment of further lives and treasure to the improbable proposition of building a cohesive nation in Afghanistan.” And yes, I am thinking of running for President again in 2020. Most likely with a Democratic running mate, that should really help me do well in the Republican primaries, right?

Breitbart: Now that our boss is no longer in the administration, we can attack Trump from the right. So lets start by saying that his “base was the biggest loser of Trump’s speech on Afghanistan Monday night” which was a “business-as-usual address from the president who had once promised to limit American intervention abroad and focus on nation-building at home.” Also, because we actually are that petty, we are going to start referring to his advisers as “President McMaster” and “General Jared.”

Washington Post: Apparently McMaster convinced Trump that Afghanistan could be turned into a stable democracy by showing him photos from the 1970s of Afghans in miniskirts.

No word on whether Trump thought that they were 10s

Trump: Oh, and while I am committing more troops to harms way in Afghanistan, I am going to release my new guidance on transgender soldiers which is this: (a) no more transgender recruits; (b) no more paying for gender reassignment surgery and (c) the military should figure out all the hard questions about what to do with soldiers in the field — as I really don’t want to take any responsibility for that decision.

Capt Jennifer Peace (Active Duty Tours in Afghanistan and Iraq): “The only thing that I’ve ever asked for is to be treated like every other soldier. How is my deployability any different from anyone else’s? I am as capable as anyone in my unit.”

The Republican War of All Against All

Trump: I have been taking a bit of a beating. To make myself feel better I am going to hold a rally in Arizona. I know my advisers would like me to stick to a script, but I can’t. So instead, I am going to spend an hour and a half: (a) reading what I said about the violence in Charlottesville while omitting the racist things I said (like my comment that there were “many fine” people marching with the Nazis and that there was blame “on both sides”); (b) obliquely attacking Jeff Flake and John McCain (while congratulating myself for being “presidential” by not saying their names); (c) claiming that “our movement is based on love” (d) lying about the size of the crowd(d) saying that health care was the victim of the filibuster and (e) accusing the free press as being an enemy of America.

This look like 15,000 people to you?

Trump: I know my aids convinced me not to mention his name last night, but I just have to attack him personally. So I am going to tweet that I am “not a fan of Jeff Flake, weak on crime & border!”

Politico: It turns out that, just prior to his rally, Trump met with two men (Jeff DeWitt and Trent Franks) who have announced that they intend to challenge Jeff Flake in the Republican Senate primary. Trump apparently promised to endorse whoever managed to sell more MAGA t-shirts by the end of the evening.

Together we can punish Jeff Flake for having a spine

Lindsey Graham: “When it comes to the Senate, there’s an Article 5 understanding: An attack against one is an attack against all.” And yes, I am aware that if you extend this metaphor it leads to the conclusion that the Senate is going to war against the President.

McConnell: I am going to host a $1,000 a plate fundraising dinner for Jeff Flake next week.

CNN: On August 9, Trump called McConnell and yelled at him about McConnell’s statement that Trump had “excessive expectations.” “Both men shouted at each other during the call and Trump cursed at the GOP leader.” The two men have not spoken since.

McConnell’s office: We cannot (truthfully) deny that outright, so instead we will say that the president and his staff have been in touch with McConnell and his staff and that those meetings will continue.

Roger Stone (Republican Strategist, Trump adviser): “The president should start bumping off incumbent Republican members of Congress in primaries. If he did that, Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan would wet their pants and the rest of the Republicans would get in line.”

Billy Piper (former McConnell chief of staff): “The quickest way for him to get impeached is for Trump to knock off Jeff Flake and Dean Heller and be faced with a Democrat-led Senate.”

Trump: Last week Bob Corker said that I hadn’t demonstrated the “the stability nor some of the competence” needed to succeed. I didn’t see those comments until tonight, but I can’t let that go, so I am going to tweet that “Tennessee not happy” with him and that he “is constantly asking me whether or not he should run again in ’18.”

Whit Ayres (Republican Pollster): “You can’t make any sense of [Trump’s strategy in criticizing Republicans] from a political perspective. The effect is going to be to have congressional Republicans take off on their own.”

Trump: “If we have to close down the government, we are going to build that wall.”

Chuck Schumer: I don’t think Trump understands how Congress works: (a) the government will shut down by October 1 unless we pass a bill with more funding; (b) those bills require 60 votes to pass the Senate; (c) democrats will vote against any bill that contains funding for the wall and (d) if Trump really is willing to veto any spending measure that doesn’t contain funding for the wall then — by definition — we are at an impasse. There are only three ways to resolve that impasse: (i) Trump convinces eight democratic senators to support funding for the border wall (ii) Republicans vote with democrats to over-ride Trump’s veto and pass a clean spending bill or (iii) Republicans preside over a shut down while in control of both houses of congress and the presidency until someone gives in. Break out the popcorn because it is going to be fun watching the GOP light itself on fire on this one.

Paul Ryan: “I don’t think anyone’s interested in having a shutdown. I don’t think it’s in our interest to do so.”

A Sinking Ship?

Gallup Daily: Trump’s poll numbers hit a new low this week — with only 35% approval against 60% disapproval

Approaching Nixon territory

Gary Cohen (Director of Trump’s National Economic Counsel): “citizens standing up for equality and freedom can never be equated with white supremacists, neo-Nazis, and the KKK. [Trump] must do better in consistently and unequivocally condemning these groups.”

Breitbart: “Gary Feeds False Establishment Narrative, Mnuchin Fights It.”

Sarah H Sanders (Press Secretary): “Gary has not held back how he feels about the situation … so I don’t think anyone was surprised by the comments.” And no, I will not tell you what Trump threw across the oval office when he heard them.

Washington Post: Cohen was overheard at dinner explaining to his companions that he had to be careful not to give Trump too much lead time about some new ideas because the president could disclose the information prematurely and upend the planning process.

NY Times: Cohen reportedly drafted a resignation letter after Trump’s press conference on Charlottesville, but didn’t send it because he still hopes to take over as Fed Chair after Yellen’s term expires in February. He also apparently believes in the tooth fairy and thinks he is likely to win Friday’s powerball.

The Federalist: We have a copy of Sebastian Gorka’s resignation letter. In it he says that “given recent events, it is clear to me that forces that do not support the MAGA promise are — for now — ascendant within the White House. As a result, the best and most effective way I can support you, Mr. President, is from outside.”

Trump: Too many people from my right wing are quitting. We can’t let it look like Gorka is too. So put out an unsigned statement saying that he didn’t resign, but that he no longer works here.

Sarah Westood (Washington Examiner): Gorka told me that the WH statement is “disappointing” and untrue, and that he “resigned.”

Trump: Argh! I have to do something to shore up my base. So I am going to announce that I am pardoning Arpaio and that because of his “admirable service to our nation, he is a worthy candidate for a presidential pardon.” And I am even going to listen to Kelly and minimize blowback by announcing this after I leave Arizona, on a Friday night, and while there is a major hurricane bearing down on Texas.

John McCain (R-Az): my time left on Earth is pretty limited, so I am going to tell it like it is. “Mr. Arpaio was found guilty of criminal contempt for continuing to illegally profile Latinos living in Arizona based on their perceived immigration status in violation of a judge’s orders. The President has the authority to make this pardon, but doing so at this time undermines his claim for the respect of rule of law.”

Jeff Flake (R-Az): “I would have preferred that the President honor the judicial process and let it take its course.”

Ruben Gallego (D-Az): “Trump’s pardon of Arpaio is unconscionable and unworthy of the White House. This is Trump’s first pardon of a crony. Will it be his last?”

Ana Navarro (Republican Strategist): “This is a slap in the face to the Latino community … in the last two weeks, [Trump] has stood with racists, with white supremacists, with neo-Nazis, and now with this man who is a symbol for civil rights abuses and racial profiling. He is the President of 34 percent of Americans, that’s about it.”

Artemio Muniz (Chairman Texas Federation of Hispanic Republicans): I am “beyond disgusted” by this pardon. “Conservatives who claim rule of law are #fakenews”

The Russia Chronicles

Washington Post: Robert Mueller has issued grand jury subpoenas seeking testimony from PR executives who worked with Manafort on a lobbying effort on behalf of a pro-Russian group in Ukrainian in 2013 and 2014. That group paid Manafort $17 million, which Manafort stashed in a bank in Cyprus and did not disclose until well after he started running the Trump campaign, when he amended his foreign disclosure form under pressure from the Justice Department. These are the first subpoenas seeking testimony that Muller has issued.

Reuters: Muller is examining what role, if any, Mike Flynn had in attempting to obtain HRC’s emails from Russian hackers.

Roger Stone (Trump advisor): If Trump is impeached “you will have a spasm of violence in this country, an insurrection, like you’ve never seen. The people will not stand for impeachment. A politician that votes for it will endanger their own life.” And, to be clear, I am not “encouraging” violence, I am just “predicting” it because this isn’t like 1974 …. we have a lot more guns now.

This Weeks Environmental Apocalypse

Ryan Zinke (Sec. Interior): Everyone is once again tied up with other news, so it’s a good time to roll back environmental protections again! This time I am going to propose shrinking the Bears Ears national monument from 1.35 million acres to 160k acres (almost 90%), as well as three other national monuments by various amounts.

Zinke in Bears Ears: This looks like a good place for a strip mine

Tom Steyer (Founder Nex-Gen America): “This administration will defend Confederate monuments, but not natural ones.”

Is The Administration’s Billionaire Cabinet Adorably Out of Touch?

Louise Linton: I know how to improve the administration’s standing with the base! I’ll Instagram my taxpayer-funded private jet travel as if I am on “rich kids of Instagram” and then insult the woman who calls me on it for being “adorably out of touch” and justifying my behavior on the ground that “I’m pretty sure we paid more taxes toward our day ‘trip’ than you did. Pretty sure the amount we sacrifice per year is a lot more than you’d be willing to sacrifice…”

Just look at my sacrifice!

North Korea

Given everything going on, this seems like a good time to launch more missiles. Lets fire three intermediate range missiles into the sea of Japan and see if Trump reacts.

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