Confronting Your Own Mortality
Most people in their early thirties don’t have to confront their own mortality. But my husband and I, almost seven years into our marriage, had to face his aggressive cancer diagnosis.
It all started with a cough at the peak of the COVID pandemic. His work required him to get tested. I remember him telling me that he normally would have just gone to work with a cough this mild. But by the time the test came back two days later, we were hoping it was positive. He had developed shortness of breath and a discomfort in his chest. He said if it wasn’t COVID, then something was really wrong. Looking back, that seems like foreshadowing.
Well, it wasn’t COVID. He went back to urgent care for tests, and after follow-ups and a few days waiting for results, was told to go immediately to the ER. Due to the pandemic, I wasn’t allowed to go back with him. Thankfully, I decided I would sit in that waiting room until I knew what was wrong with him, instead of going home for the night as the nurse suggested. A while later, a nurse came to bring me back to his room.
“I thought I wasn’t allowed to go back,” I said.
“There are certain circumstances where we make an exception,” she replied.
My heart dropped in that moment. That was the first time I really believed something terrible was happening. I sat with…
