4 signs he’s mansplaining

I know some men may not be a fan of this word but let’s be honest; nothing in this world is by chance. Our lives are a result of our choices, our appearance is a result of our DNA, lifestyle and personal style and popular terms such as “mansplaining” are a result of a toxic dynamic in society due to historical circumstances. For those who do not know, mansplaining occurs when a man explains something (most likely to women) with a tone of condescension and superiority. This has become such a phenomenon, that we hear the term being used in tv/film, the real world and in articles such as this one. Mansplaining is a micro aggression that can be overlooked due to the uncertainty of knowing how to respond.

With that, I’ve accumulated four tell all signs to know when someone is mansplaining.

1. Over confidence in a topic. A perfect example of this was exemplified on a very popular women led show called “Jane the Virgin.” To sum up the scenario without revealing anything; there is a woman character who is pregnant and goes through anxiety as she is trying to prepare for several upcoming changes in her life. The father of her child takes the opportunity to tell her she is “nesting.” He then proceeds to explain to her what nesting is and even does it with a smile. Although he truly meant no harm, he was totally mansplaining. The narrator of the show even makes it a point to acknowledge he is mansplaining. The character may have made a point in his response, but it was rude of him to assume something of the woman instead of asking her what she needs form him. For the record, she completely set him straight.
2. Speaking or behaving in a condescending manner. Having a superiority complex has no gender. This can be exemplified with our parents, older siblings, bosses or just someone dealing with deep insecurities. However, this dynamic is mostly seen in settings where the norm of the culture is the man being in charge. It doesn’t help that historically society has placed men on pedestals while women were seen as nothing but backbones to men. Due to this generational curse, men may feel as though when they have a certain level of power they can treat you any way they want to. This behavior is likely to be displayed in work settings or in a household where the man is the breadwinner. If you don’t believe me, ask Dj Khaled what he won’t do for his wife and why.
3. Domination of conversation. It’s only natural that we as humans want to provide something to the world and feel important. We all have something to offer and there is nothing wrong with wanting to express that. A problem only occurs when one feels the need to overshadow the next person, to boost their own self esteem. Due to that superiority complex I mentioned earlier; people (particularly men) may not even allow themselves to be open to your viewpoint. This may be epitomized through actions of interrupting when you talk, only listening to respond or straight up taking what you said and restating it as if they made it up. Someone who respects, values and sees you as an equal will create and support a space where both voices can be heard. My personal biggest cringe is when I am with someone (of any gender) and they outwardly look uncomfortable because they are not the one making a huge point or leading the conversation. It is completely okay to observe and learn. As I said, we all have something to offer.
4. Dismissing your viewpoint, even if you are correct. Dismissing ones viewpoint can be considered a form of dominating the conversation but it can also stand on its’ own as a sign of mansplaining. You could easily have a conversation where you are given the space to speak without interruption and yet never with comprehension. We can simplify this by saying that due to differences in brain chemistry; we just don’t view things in the same lens. It’s okay to recognize when one must agree to disagree. It’s not okay to have a jaded, guarded, snapshot judgment because you do not agree or understand. In my humble opinion, men only dismiss your point when they do not want to acknowledge the truth in what you’re saying. This mostly occurs if they feel offended or have difficulty admitting they are wrong. I imagine men do this with one another, but especially amongst women. An example of this can easily be seen in men and women relationships particularly when discussing emotions or women’s rights.

I’d like to take this moment to specify that these are signs of mansplaining but not guaranteed personality traits in a person. If you are experiencing anything like this, address it with the men in your life. Some men truly mean no harm and may just have unconscious biases like the rest of us. We all make mistakes and deserve grace to correct them. If you decide to address these concerns with the men in your life and continue to be met with disrespect and condescending attitudes; do your best to rise above. Validate your experience and cut out as much of that energy as you can. You are just as capable and valuable as anyone else in the room and you are allowed to let that be known.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

Did you like this article? Do you feel as though this can apply to your daily life? Let me know in the comments, give this article a clap and follow for more articles such as this one!