Emily in Paris: the sad truth behind the clichés
10 lessons the French can learn from the Netflix show (even if they don’t want to).
I’m French and yes, Emily in Paris is an accumulation of clichés. Am I offended? No — I’m not because a lot of these clichés reveal several dysfunctions in our society.
The French like criticizing everything and particularly each other but they hate being criticized by foreigners, especially the Americans. The De Gaulle vibe to never be “americanized” is still a thing and “l’exception française” is nurtured from a young age: movie synchronization (despite uncertain lip synching), English not so well taught at school, news often picturing the USA as the epitome of exaggeration, and so on…
For the French, America is that wild cousin you secretly admire but publically distance yourself from. With Emily in Paris, we now have that wild cousin point of view and the French are going nuts. Calm down; American people genuinely admire our culture, food and yes, people too. They have this idea that we are thin, cultured, well-dressed, good lovers, arrogant but passionate. There are certain things they don’t fit with and they are pictured in 10 episodes… Ouch!
This accidental pamphlet against the French is in fact throwing at us things we can do better — for our own sake — and here are 10 of them:
#1. Sexism
If you grew up in France and lived your whole life there, you probably think that this country treats women well, it doesn’t. France is very “macho”. Walking on the street as a woman can be overwhelming as it’s way too common to be catcalled. Taking the subway in Paris at any time of the day when you’re a woman is a sport. Going back home by yourself at night is playing with your life. Emily in Paris doesn’t show this, but it’s the reality of millions of women in France. There is this stupid idea that if you are catcalled, you should take it as a compliment. No. This is awful.
The work environment is also very toxic for women. Men make a lot of sexual jokes and everyone participates, women included. I did it too, to not be taken as a party pooper or to not go against a superior, who was often a male. Once, a boss from another office visited our open space (women around 25–30 years old) and the first thing he said after “Bonjour” was to address the male (all at a higher position) to say “You guys treat yourself in that office”. Hard to imagine that scene in the US… Unlike in the show, French men don’t draw dicks on female paperwork, but they have no problem talking dirty to them, because they think it’s funny, not offensive.
In the show, Sylvie — the French Devil Wears Prada energy boss — tolerates sexism. It’s true. A lot of women of that age are so brainwashed that they have no problem with the male gaze. A good example is when a bunch of famous women wrote an open letter (including French legend Catherine Deneuve) to defend men’s freedom to pester women and condemn the #metoo movement. That’s a high level of brainwashing…
#2. Racism
In the show there is one recurrent Black character and it’s probably because of the quotas. French series almost never have a character from a minority, or it’s to play a thief or a woman oppressed by her Muslim family.
The French refuse quotas because they think it’s discriminatory when it’s not. “Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité” doesn’t include minorities and it’s hard for “white” French people to admit it. Renting a flat when your name is Mohammed or Mamadou is way harder than when it’s Jean-Jacques. The term “Arabe” has a bad connotation and a lot of French people are not comfortable around people of color. This creates a lot of troubles in the society, terrorism being one of them. France hasn’t dealt yet with the stigma caused by “decolonization” and until it finds a solution, France will remain divided.
Anti-Semitism is also a huge problem. French government is outspoken about it and the Jewish community gets protection; but still, how uncomfortable is this after all that happened in French history?
Making racist jokes (like sexist ones) is a national sport. Asian people are particularly targeted and it shocks no one. Nevertheless, “thanks” to cancel culture things are changing, but in inner circles, it’s still a thing. If you get offended, you are too politically correct, boring or told that “France shouldn’t turn into the US where you can’t say anything”. Well, if what you say is racist, maybe it’s not such a bad thing…
#3. Being mean
The first thing you notice when you are in the US is that people are nice, very nice, almost too nice. If you seem lost or ask for directions, people will be pleased to help; if you go to a shop, restaurant or bar you are most generally treated really well. The French have to be honest: this is not the case in France, especially in Paris and it’s such a disgrace.
The Parisians are rude, very very rude. Everyone knows it, people joke about it, but it’s exhausting, even for the Parisians themselves. Aggressive behavior is so common that it shocks no one. Ok, we don’t tip, but that’s not an excuse to be treated like “merde”. FYI, a couple years ago, Paris City Hall released a guideline aimed at people in the service industry to explain how to treat customers better…
Of course Emily in Paris will show this, it’s the first thing you notice if you spend even a day in Paris, French or not. Shame, shame…
#4. Talking French
Our English proficiency isn’t the best in Europe despite travelling, studying abroad and watching Netflix; but even the French who speak well tend to not make that effort. The French hate speaking English to each other, even if a poor non-French speaker is there, feeling totally ignored. It’s not necessarily intentional, it’s also laziness; but how rude is that?
French is a difficult language and isn’t as powerful as it used to be. English is, so we should accept it now. Dutch, Swedes, Danes, Germans also have difficult languages but they accommodate visitors.
#5. Hospitality
In certain cultures, hospitality is a normal thing. It isn’t in France. Including a visitor in your environment isn’t something the French do naturally, especially in the work environment. The French will invite you for an apéro, a dinner, a party but only when the ice is broken and you are included in their inner circle.
It can be disturbing for certain people who feel French aren’t welcoming. It happens in other countries too but it’s not a reason. France should reconsider the way they treat visitors, make someone far from their home feel comfortable, respected and loved doesn’t cost anything. Ignoring this basic rule of kindness isn’t helping our already bad reputation…
#6. Dirtiness
One of the most visited city in the world (pre-Covid) is actually dirty as hell… Dog poo is a thing. Way less than when I was a kid thanks to multiple ad campaigns and tickets, but still, it’s not rare to step in dog dejections while strolling in Paris. It never happened to me elsewhere…
The Métro doesn’t smell like pussy as nicely told in Emily in Paris, but a mix of a lot of things that I’m not going to describe. No offense to people who work hard to maintain the city clean, they do a great and tough job. The fault is to the locals who really don’t care about throwing their trash on the street, pee or spit. Things are changing as the vibe is to make Paris a greener city, so let’s hope for the best!
#7. Smoking
The French smoke a lot, that’s true. It shocks the Americans because they don’t really smoke. When you spend a bunch of time in North America and come back to Paris, it’s the first thing you notice : people smoke everywhere (well, where it’s allowed because it’s not in all public places like pictured in the show). If you are a non-smoker and have a drink in a packed “terrasse”, people don’t care about smoking to your face and you better not complain or you’ll be seen as a “relou” — slang for annoying. Yes, it’s rude…
Rules are slowly changing as a pack of cigarettes costs around 10€ and people will soon not be able to afford it.
#8. Working hours
Our working hours are depicted as very extravagant. We don’t start at 10.30 am but we do take a long 1 hour lunch break and we take as many cigarette breaks as we want. The law about working 35 hours a week is a scam, most people work 40 hours or more. We have more holidays than in the US, but 2 weeks per year? Come on, it’s literally nothing!
In France, Sunday is a dead day, almost no one works (except essential workers). When the government tried to change this, it received a ton of backlash, despite being profitable for our economy and for a lot of people, like students.
As they say in Emily in Paris, firing someone is very difficult. You must think it’s great. It’s not. Because of that, recruiters are very reluctant to hire people, and losing your job is dramatic because it takes ages to find a new one. Yes, we have great help from the government, but people just want to work…
#9. New Technologies
Emily, the brilliant miss-know-it-all American girl is sent like the Messiah to teach the barbaric French how social media work and how to make money out of it. Brutal, but not completely false…
France, 6th largest economy in the world, really lags in terms of digitalization. I’m not only talking about social media, but AI, machine learning and such. Despite Macron pushing to become a “startup nation”, it’s badly received and he gets tons of criticism from “les Gilets Jaunes” or older generations who don’t want to change their habits. Young generations with high degrees just leave France to get better opportunities elsewhere, and no one is trying to retain them. How can this be good?
#10. Snobbism
Paris is the capital of France and… snobbism. There are tons of people like Thomas — the Sorbonne teacher — in Paris. These people think that anyone outside of Paris is a hick. Sometimes these people are not even from Paris, but pretend just to be accepted. Don’t try to keep your regional accent or you’ll be categorized as “le plouc”.
Fashion is also a thing. If you dress too short, with too many colors or differently, people will stare and judge. Unlike NYC or London where eccentricity is tolerated and admired, in Paris it’s shamed. Not cool… Parisians love pretending to be better than you and make you feel like shit. It’s highly problematic and people just leave for chiller places like Berlin or London, where they can be themselves.
No country or city is perfect. France never pretended that (except for wine and food), but certain adjustments can be made, for our well-being and reputation. As we say: “Impossible n’est pas français”, so what are we waiting for?
