WITH MY LIMP
“Come on Bro, you can’t even kick the ball properly” Someone taunted as I made a blunder of a pass. I had planned it out perfectly in my head but the message seemed to not get through to my leg which did an entirely different thing. I just smiled, although deep inside I was hurt and pained because I knew I had to learn to deal with the new reality of being a terrible soccer player.
I write because it’s usually my escape from reality. ‘Reality’ such a relative concept, constructed by every individual according to their perception of the world based on their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual state of being. Of course, our perception of reality constantly changes due to situations which affect us as our lives go on. Take me for example, I am 25 years old, but I have experienced life in some extremes. I have had the joy of accepting Jesus as my lord and savior, completing a Bachelors and Masters degree. However, I have also had the pain of loosing my Mother before I turned 21, having an attack on my life which affected my hearing, having a long term drug addiction and finally experiencing a double fracture of both bones in my right leg at the shin, and not receiving proper medical attention until about an hour and thirty minutes after the incident.
The broken leg is what I want to focus on in this article. Prior to this fracture, I was and had always been a very good athlete and sportsman overall. I have received several medals for my speed at 100 and 200 metres races. I was also quite the soccer player, I spent long hours in my early Teens watching Jay Jay Okocha and Ronaldinho clips and then going outside to practice what I learnt. So you can imagine how in my late Teens into my early twenties, I constantly dazzled in the soccer field with these skills which I had made my own. Alas, on one faithful day, a bad tackle changed everything.
The doctor had to insert a metal nail (as long as a rod which runs from just below my knee to just above my ankle) in my right leg for me to be able to use the leg properly again. However, I still had to learn to walk, run, squat and sit all over again like a child. The most painful part of the transition was the first time I kicked a soccer ball after I recovered, it was as though all my skills had vanished and I immediately realized I was now a terrible footballer. Added to that, the soccer ball felt very heavy for my leg, the last time it felt that way was when I was a child.
9 months after my surgery ,I decided to just kick a ball around with some friends at a social gathering, and although I might have kept a smiling face, I was hit with a hard fact that my perception of reality was never going to be the same again. I no longer can see myself as a top athlete/soccer player because of my new physical limitations, whether I chose to accept it or not, my right leg is never going to be the same again and I might likely carry this limp for the rest of my life.
So yes! I will get taunted, occasionally laughed at and possibly might always have to explain why I sit down and stand up in ‘slow motion’. However, I am fine with just being able to walk and I will forever be grateful to God for that very fact. Because frankly! my right leg isn’t my only limp…my fears! my pride! all my sins! these are all limps which I have been carrying all my live and although the devil will like me to focus on these flaws of mine, I will rather cast my eyes on Jesus who paid the ultimate price for me so that I know that no matter what the limp is, I have hope to keep walking and moving forward because my Lord is with me every step of the way and I am loved beyond any Human understanding. So yes! I am gonna keep on walking with my Limp.
Suggestion: A song which helps drive this message home is Jonathan McReynolds’s “Limp”.