Mentorship & Why It’s Important to Your Business, Part 2

Over the past several months I’d set out to foster dialogue among professionals working to develop themselves or their teams. Using an online platform, I’ve been able to connect with thousands of executives, entrepreneurs, and life-students worldwide. During these structured Q&As, I would offer insights drawn from my experience at the highest levels of corporate strategy and branding.

In the most recent session focused on Mentorship, I fielded questions from over 100 professionals eager to discuss being a mentor, finding a mentor, and grooming mentors within their organizations.

As mentorship can be a nuanced concept, more than once we delved into the themes of leadership and team dynamics, topics that I am very fond of covering. See these previous transcripts:

Team Development Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Could these latest attendees work to create a ‘waterfall’ of praise and constructive corrections in order to groom top performers for advancement and build strength within their teams?

Let’s find out…

What advice would you give someone going into a leadership position for the first time? -Adrian

Be open to feedback. Not only that @Adrian, you must also seek it out. For my entire career, I’ve given my team a forum to review my performance. When they see that you are always looking to support their growth by getting better yourself, they should be more open to your direction and coaching.

On the other hand, I’ve seen some new leaders take an authoritarian approach. Perhaps they assume that this dynamic is both necessary and agreed upon. They fail to realize that all parts of the team -leaders and team members- play an important role. Just look at pro sports coaches who ‘lose the locker room.’ Remember that you cannot win the game all by yourself. Show your team respect while holding them accountable for clearly define expectations.

Communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more. Show them the why behind what you are doing. Help them to see the role that each one plays in the bigger picture.

Be as consistent as possible with emotion while changing your approach based on the team member in front of you. I appreciate the concept that Ken Blanchard writes about: an inverted the org chart where leaders serve their teams.

Always take responsibility for failure of the team to reach expectations and give them credit when those expectations are met. After all, you’re the leader, not the doer. If the team falls short, it was the plan, the delivery, or a lack of communication. If the team succeeds, it’s because they believed in, and executed the plan. Jim Collins calls this concept the window and the mirror.

What leadership style do you use? -Samm

Thanks for asking @Samm. Empathy, compassion, and hard work. Every role on team is important. After all, a leader by definition, needs a team. I subscribe to the idea of the servant leader, a style that Ken Blanchard champions.

In the end, you must listen. Listen to the team, your customers/clients, and to your heart. Be brave enough to face your team in the tough times and to give them the credit in the good ones. Be honest and seek out critique and feedback -then act on it. Be humble and be human. Forgive honest mistakes and be accountable to whatever standards you hold your team accountable to.

And don’t forget to have fun!!

What is the most difficult part of being a leader? -Philip

It can be difficult for many leaders to always be ‘on stage.’ To be viewed by the team through a careful lens that is looking for reaction or a lack of belief in the game plan. Your fairness will be inspected always. As well as your commitment.

For some, this dynamic can create an adversarial nature in the roles of the leader and the team.

You must be ultra-aware that this can go sideways quickly if you are not open to the flow of energy within the team.

The best leaders embrace this reality and understand that their own consistency is the answer.

Is it true that a leader can actually spot a potential leader? How so? -Mich

I think it’s possible @Mich, that a leader may recognize in another certain attributes that they have either self-realized or cultivated. Whether it’s a degree of grit, a willingness to work through obstacles, or an innate patience for others that they see. It may also be easily perceived when the charisma, gravitas, or energy of that potential leader earns the attention or buy-in from peers.

However, I, like many others, have an interesting relationship with the concept of potential.

I think potential is made up of two things. A latent talent not yet tapped within the individual that must be honed and cultivated. I am reminded of the adage ‘hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.’ In some ways, potential is the opposite of proof. It could be educated guesswork, but it could also be a mirage.

And the second ingredient: potential is manufactured by the evaluator and can simply be a projection of what that evaluator hopes will eventually happen. Think about phrases like ‘they remind me of me at that age.’ This type of evaluation and association can be murkily reductive and discount all of the individual characteristics of the subject. I have poured my own hopes for an individual into the idea of their potential only to have misread them entirely. While at the same time, I’ve had team members surprise me with their leadership aptitude.

My matrix would consist of these characteristics: those who work hard; those who lift up those around them -especially the weakest performers; creative thinkers, and those who show grit following a setback.

Is competition among a team healthy? Why or why not? -Amna

I think that competition is one of those dynamic concepts, and one that requires a great deal of balance. Without collaboration of some kind, the idea of adversarial competition can easily lead to the dehumanization of the opponent. Some leadership groups strive for constant competition in hopes of driving excellence. I wonder, however, if it can be executed in a sustainable manner without burning out participants or delivering diminished returns.

Healthy competition within a team should have clearly defined parameters and scope. The timelines and goals of the competition should exist within the foundational mission of the team and be always focused as a means to achieve a greater goal that will benefit the entire team, including the team(s) that do not earn the ‘win.’ This keeps the overall focus on the product/service and who it’s being delivered to.

Unhealthy competition within a team, on the other hand, is never ending. Imagine two sub-teams or individuals constantly vying for dominance, accolades, or compensation. These opposing forces can rip the social dynamic of the team and can sometimes work to frustrate or undermine each rather than raising their performance. Not to mention that the focus remains on beating the other and not delivering a great product/service experience.

In some circumstance, where one team regularly defeats the other, a loss of confidence or interest in the work can occur from both adversaries. You also risk forfeiting the advantage of each team cheering the other on. This is a tremendous motivator that can help individuals or the whole team gain traction on stalled projects.

Was there a time when an employee disagreed with your directive and how did you handle it? -Milan

Of course @Milan. Team members may question or even decline to participate for a number of reasons. Perhaps they don’t believe in the work or the viability of the solution or perhaps they lack confidence in the plan or the leader.

In my experience, this should not be an infrequent happenstance. Often, the ‘disagreement’ was simply a request for more information. As a leader, I hadn’t done my job in preparing the team, defining the solution needed, or those benefitting from it. In those cases, further dialogue is necessary prior to moving forward.

Other times, the employee saw a gap in my approach that I was able to learn from. These are great moments of ownership and courage when a team member takes the initiative to redirect a project.

Both of these instances are moments prompting a leader to self-check and learn. Try not to be defensive or authoritarian when confronted. After all, every leader was once a team member who stepped up at some point.

If the disagreement is simply an act of defiance, perhaps a review of shared of goals and compatibility should take place. However, if you’ve set the right expectations in hiring and training, these situations should be infrequent.

How do you go about resolving conflict? -Josinette

Great question @Josinette! Conflict usually arises from a lack of empathy where two parties won’t listen to, or attempt to understand, each other’s point of view. Indeed, at times when I’ve been less inclined to listen to others, I’ve found myself engaged in more conflict.

Listening is a difficult habit to build. In fact, it’s the basis for Habit #5 in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

A word of caution: you must address conflict within your team. Do not ignored it in hopes of it resolving itself.

I find that in many cases where conflict exists, there are major areas of agreement between the individuals or groups in opposition. I think it’s helpful to create a Venn Diagram by sitting first with one and then the other party. If the friction is arising in the workplace ask each what they like about the product or service delivered, why they like delivering it, and how its impact on the end user makes them feel. Ask them how they feel when they are operating at top efficacy and what they like about the office environment. Ask them how they feel when they receive help or assistance during times of frustration or struggle and when they give assistance to others. Ask them how the job impacts or influences their lives outside the office.

Now take a specific turn towards how and where the conflict builds. Ask them what attributes in the other are helpful and which, in their opinion, contribute to the tension. Ask them how they have attempted to resolve the conflict and why they don’t think it has worked. Ask their advice on how to resolve the underlying issues.

Now take the two lists and combine the areas of similarities. Once you’re sitting with both sides you should review just how alike they are in job approach and satisfaction vs. expectations. Now, you’re ready to discuss the outlier items which are most likely at the heart of the conflict. Through the lens of their similarities, the team members should be more open to listening to how each perceives the conflict. If at any point during the conversation the tension resumes, remind them of their likemindedness and ask them to try to hear one another and to drive for solution-based outcomes.

Sessions like these can be grueling so stay calm yourself and you will make headway.

What are you doing to ensure you continue to grow and develop as a leader? -Michelle

Thanks for asking @Michelle. Each day I focus on being mindful and aware of my impact and influence on others. I also try to stay forever curious about how to be more effective at leading teams. I love to read, and I subscribe to numerous podcasts that introduce me to new ideas and approaches.

I am always seeking feedback from those with whom I work. Through pushing and recognizing my own limitations, I’m able to create an environment where the team helps me to be a better leader.

At the end of the day, doing a thing is the best way to learn, grow, and progress.

How about you, Michelle?

What was the best advice you received from a mentor/leader? -B.

That I could do it. That they believed in me. As internally driven as I can be, it was amazing what that external reinforcement did for my confidence.

Their advice, in fact, was that we are, all of us, in a learning phase of our own development; that most of us are new to a position, role, or set of responsibilities.

They didn’t tell me that it wouldn’t be hard, that there was a ‘hack’ to make it easier, or that someone else would do the work. They empowered me to stay focused, to take chances in the face of a challenge, and to help others along the way. I am still attempting to do so every day.

More to come…

I hope that you’ve enjoyed reading along with this Q&A and that you’ll allow me to bend your ear for a few more going forward. I want to hear your feedback and I am eager to learn from each of you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out.

The views expressed in replies are my own, but have been influenced by years of collaboration with amazing people along with a willingness to fail and to learn.

Best,

Cliff Carey

Founder, American Reserve Clothing Co.

cliff@americanreserveshop.com | americanreserveshop.com

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