Have you ever walked out of a meeting with an executive thinking to yourself, “I’d much rather have been water-boarded”? Ok, that might be a bit of a stretch, but hear me out. It feels as if we are in the midst of a period where the people that we work for are purposely trying to make us feel uncomfortable. Did they learn this from a manual? Is there a bizzaro Ted Talk that I’m not aware of? Maybe it’s payback for the 14,000 times their underwear was pulled over their head between the ages 6 and 30. Who knows. All I know is that it is a sure-fire way to stifle creativity and get the least out of your people.

I mentioned previously that mean emails feel like a test. Is intimidation part of the same warped approach? Whether it’s the over-the-top challenging questions, the “confused” look to our comments or the snarky “i’m so much better than you” laugh (my personal favorite), you need to know that you are crushing any motivation from your employees.

In most cases the intimidation is between superior and subordinate. Here’s a little hint, the employee in this situation is already feeling a bit of pressure presenting to the higher-up. There’s no need to add the extra oomph. We want to encourage a safe environment that fosters creativity. Not a situation where someone needs to “prove” that they are worthy to be in your almighty presence.

Think back to a time when the roles were reversed. When you were coming up in your career and were a wee-bit nervous heading into that big meeting. Do we want to brow beat someone if they aren’t succinct, present a half-baked proposal or are visibly nervous? Or do we think that we can get more out of someone if we try a more supportive approach and god forbid make them comfortable? I’m willing to take a gamble on the latter. I’m also willing to bet you will be gaining a loyal, talented and motivated employee. Just a hunch.

Defusing the tension and nervous energy in the room is the role of the most senior person. Your demeanor drives the meeting. If you are in a good “welcoming” mood, your employees will respond and elevate. If your shorts are in a bunch, your employees will tighten up (also in the shorts region) and their goal will be to avoid conflict and run for zee hills as fast as possible. We often hear creative people say “there is no bad idea” or “nothing is off limits”, which immediately builds a safe environment that fosters innovative ideas. It’s not important whether you think you are creative or not. People just want to work in an organization where they don’t have to navigate the giant ego or power trips from the once scared-of-his-shadow 22 year old auditor who became CFO.

Another pitfall of intimidation is that employees might stop coming to you altogether with issues. We all know that this can’t end well. As soon as your team is afraid to come to you for advice due to fear of how you will react, than we’re doomed. People gravitate towards leaders who are balanced. It’s inspiring to work for someone who is approachable and willing to work together to find solutions.

Maybe we should try to drop the intimidation tactic for an approach that is a tad more friendly and welcoming. We might be surprised to see how our employees step up and start producing like you’ve never seen.

Who knows, if you start being nicer to your employees you might be able to attract and retain the best, in addition to keeping yourself off of Danny McGrath “PEOPLE TO KILL” list. Which I believe would be a good thing.