Much ado

Did it look fit for use, not too tight or too loose?
I was blind as you lay there below me
Was the whole thing ok, when you threw it away?
If you checked then you don’t need to show me

I can quite understand, it’s your usual brand
and the chances of breakage are tiny
but it seems fairly damp. Hold it under the lamp
Yes that’s my fluid, yours is more shiny

Did it stay in its place, as you picked up the pace
and took me to some whole other planet?
I don’t want a surprise but with your girth and size
It can’t always work perfectly, can it?

Well it isn’t my fault, you’re too lazy to halt
and check things are ok in mid-session
It’s so hard to read you, do you fret like I do?
You’re more chilled, at least that’s my impression

Ok leave it, it’s fine. I think we’ll draw the line
There’s a limit to what we can do
Hey there speaking of which, did I just feel you twitch?
I think somebody’s up for round two

Are the curtains pulled shut? I’d attend to them but
I just want to go check all the locks
Now we’re good to go, great. I’m so horny for-WAIT!
Did you look at the date on the box?