How my boyfriend’s t-shirt became the elephant in the closet

It’s black. On the front in the middle there’s a woman. Her face is covered by a balaclava and she’s posing with an axe. The axe hangs ominously in-between her legs. It looks pretty sharp. She looks pretty naked. Well, besides some underwear. God I sound prudent. This is 2017, come on! Whatever happened to my belief in freedom of speech, freedom of dress and so on? Maybe I’m just jealous, but there’s something about that t-shirt that I can’t seem to shake off.
“Do you think this woman was forced into this?” he responds to my teasing borderline probing. We’re cleaning out the flat as I joke that this chauvinistic pig of a top should go straight to the bin-it pile. I look at her long skinny legs set astride by killer platform stilettos. She glares at me boldly from behind the mask, the tips of a smirk peeking through a slit where the mouth is. “Come on” she’s saying, “I dare you. Fight me”. Right, no, this doesn’t exactly scream coercion — an almighty vengeance more like. Who is her enemy, I wonder. Some hidden monster? Men, even?
So consent isn’t the issue here. Hell, I think to myself, I wouldn’t mind a go. Strutting about and voguing in tiny underwear whilst swinging some big axe around looks like fun. We’re all guilty of a little vanity right? I’m talking to you, instaglamours, posing and pouting in your bathroom mirrors. Isn’t this the dream? We live in a world where flaunting your assets online in copious uploads is perfectly acceptable, praised even.
Whilst some may argue that although she may not look or realise it, Sexy Axe Woman is in fact a victim. What underlying forces could have propelled her into posing in a thong? Should we all conceal our bodies for fear of exposing emotional symptoms of suffering at the hands of men? Again, subordination and degradation are far from what comes to mind as I hold up the garment.
“I think you may be over analysing this” he says. Poor boy, I mean it is just a t-shirt for Christ’s sake! But that’s exactly what’s bothering me so much — how one piece of fabric holds the power to expose the many cracks and tensions within a single ideology: Feminism. Whilst Sexy Axe Woman may be portrayed by somebody as liberated, another may view her as violated. The same applies to a bottomless heap of topics, from women in the media, to pole dancers, to strip clubs, to the most controversial of all: sex work.
Though ranging, these issues are all highly sensitive. They involve different people and no case is the same, therefore there is no simple black or white answer. Although it may be easier and clearer for groups to label an issue as “right” or “wrong”, especially for advocacy work, it can also be damaging to the agents involved. Speaking for the voiceless isn’t necessarily effective. I guess I’m trying to say that it is important to not jump to sides but to keep an open mind when looking at topics.
I eye the t-shirt again, no less confused. “But if she was a, you know, big woman would you wear it?” He looks at me dumbfounded. I notice his favourite top hanging up, the orange truck sprawled across the middle with “Truck you!” below it in yellow. To its left hangs a bright orange shirt with a famous skater in a red polka-dot dress buttoned up to the chin, wearing a curly black wig and a string of pearls. OK, I guess fashion and political messages really aren’t his thing.
