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Ubiquitous Pussy Bullshit

Why we need to reject the normal when it comes to good eating

A challenge, Gentlemen;

If you see something that is high sugar or highly refined carbohydrates, or both, sound out in your head the words “Pussy-bullshit”.

Keep doing this throughout a normal day, say running errands, catching a friend for lunch and buying food.

Pussy-bullshit. Pussy-bullshit. Pussy-bullshit.

Pussy-bullshit is everywhere.

Sweets, cakes, cookies, biscuits and flapjacks.
Abundant fizzy pop and hyper sweet juice-drinks. Sweetened milk alternatives.

Almost everything with colourful branding.

Foodstuffs advertised as ‘low-fat’, ‘fortified’ or the disingenous ‘healthy’.
Almost all microwavable meals.

Snacks; say breakfast bars, crisps and wafers.
Loaf upon loaf of low grade bread. An entire shelf of gluten-free junk.

At the coffee-shop; a pumpkin spice latte, a trademarked frappucino hiding almost a thousand calories.

At the deli; processed ham, where the best is pressed into the likeness of bears-face.

Because modern life caters overwhelmingly to the average and the average pattern of consumption is fucked, pussy bullshit is everywhere, all the time.

I call this The Theory of Ubiquitous Pussy Bullshit.

You do not have to be someone who eats perfectly clean food at all times. This is a joyless way of doing things. But Pussy Bullshit must be shown it’s place.

The man on a mission cannot afford to be a slave.

He must laugh at clown foods. To eat these regularly is to shortchange his health and in turn everything that depends on it. High-sugar, highly-refined, higher stakes.

A major issue with Pussy-bullshit is that your body very quickly becomes totally accustomed to it, both in the action of habitual eating, and in the sensory experience.

The hyper stimulus of processed foods dulls your ability to appreciate nuanced flavour.

It is impossible to appreciate the wonderful aroma and subtle sweetness of a ripe cantaloupe melon when you are used to shovelling truck loads of cheap chocolate into your cake-hole.

During a 21 day spell in Japan, myself and close pal MoonApe fell into the habit of eating chocolate covered macadamia nuts every morning for breakfast — these you could buy from the vending machines on every street corner.

We ate these goddamn chocolate nuts almost every day consecutively for the best part of three weeks! My tastebuds and teeth were getting hammered.

Luckily in the trip ended with a 48 hour sojourn in South Korea where such sugary Pussy-bullshit, whilst still available, was not nowhere near at the level of saturation as their Japanese cousins.

Plate-loads of Kimchi and Korean BBQ restored my senses back to normal health. One night I simply bought some raw vegetables, wolfing them down illicitly and with glee in the hostel we were staying in.

Sensory overstimulation is no joke.

You may need to go cold turkey and completely eliminate or at least massively reduce your consumption of sugary and processed foods for a week or two to restore years of sensory overstimulation.

Whatever you do, hold in mind your fundamental choice — either you actively regulate Pussy-bullshit, or you passively allow it to control you.

Choose not to be a slave.

The amount of branding on your food is a good indicator of Pussy-bullshit. A useful rule of thumb being:

Low-brand, high nutrition.
High-brand, low nutrition.

Foodstuffs with minimal degrees of processing such as fruit, vegetables, diary products, eggs and meat are those with minimal levels of branding.

If the majority of your food shopping is unbranded then your are probably making the right food choices. If the majority is plastered with leaping tigers, boisterous monkeys or surfing polar bears you are likely making the wrong choices.

I know what you’re thinking; popcorn, ice-cream, cookie-dough, mmmm, let me live a little. Sure thing cupcake. Treat yourself! — a little bit of pussy-bullshit is fine, but it can never be allowed to run things.

The true gentlemen knows society’s dirty secret;
Good health must be seized or society will seize it from you!

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