It’s not as hard as we make it
A friend of mine recently had shoulder surgery. His girlfriend posted a request on Facebook that we, his group of friends, might be willing to provide meals (dairy free, please) for him to get by for a few weeks. She is a flight attendant and wouldn’t be able to be his constant caretaker during his recovery.
A few months ago, a different friend in this same group had a health event, too. His was sudden. He had a girlfriend, and we all knew she could cook. Unlike the first friend mentioned, this one’s girlfriend made no request of us. In addition, this friend has pretty good cash flow, so without conferring with him or each other, we assumed Door Dash or Uber Eats could fill in for his needs.
We don’t like the first friend more; he just asked. The Ask. Capital A. It’s hard for many.
Two of us got together for an evening of cooking that meal. We drank champagne, sampled the food, and walked it over to our recovering friend. We chatted with him and his girlfriend, then came back and made the same meal for ourselves. The Ask turned into a really special time, for the givers and the receivers. It usually does.
Ask — for what you’d like. The worst that can happen is the other person can’t come through. You can handle that. If they can’t, it’s not because you’re not worthy — it has to do with where they are at that moment. Give them a break and try not to judge them or criticize your value. And ask someone else. You’re giving another person a chance to feel really great about coming through for you.