Don’t worry. The failure is most likely not your own. I had a hard time with this piece, because I dedicated myself to the idea of an omnipotent narrator, who was also a key character, in the first person. I feel like the project was a failure — in the sense of accurate communication to the reader — but not something I regret, happily. When I read back over some of the works of David Foster Wallace (one of my inspirations) I realise I could have done far worse in regards to obfuscation; but at the same time I feel excess incoherence is a weakness because I want my stories to affect people in an initially non-cryptic way before the puzzle stands before them.
Chalk it up to inexperience; I will endeavour to capture that balance if you bear with me. Thanks for reading!