The Grand Collusion

“America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition. Get yourself a brand new motor car. Someday soon we’ll stop to ponder, what on Earth’s this spell we’re under. We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are.”
-Styx, The Grand Illusion

It’s all coming together now. The Big Orange Man in the Little White House has managed to flub another one. Multiple bankruptcies weren’t enough. Now the Donald’s managed to turn his miraculous come-from-behind election victory into a James Bond/Cold War-level spy thriller. And the political-junkies and newshounds are hanging on every word.

President Trump, the billionaire real estate mogul who sold himself as the champion of the forgotten American worker has now emerged as something new — like a snake from old skin or a moth from a cocoon. And slowly a new persona emerges in the form of a sulfuric reincarnation of Richard Nixon. He’s either a stupid, compromised fool on par with Bill Clinton, or else has managed to naively fuck himself harder than Sunny Leone in ‘Sorority Ram-Rod Party IV’ — which is still the finest piece of cinema to come out of Canada since Meatballs. Simply put: if the Kremlin doesn’t have him by the balls then he’s a whole new level of dumbass. “Innocent bystander” is no longer an option. Still, I’m not convinced the president has crossed the threshold of illegality. Though it’s inching ever closer, the trail of Russian breadcrumbs has yet to reach the door of the Oval Office.

This past week the president’s son, Don Jr., caused a firestorm after admitting that last summer he attended a meeting with a Russian attorney. At the time, Junior was under the impression that the lawyer, Natalia Veselnitskaya, worked for the Russian government and possessed damaging information about Hillary Clinton. Boy-wonder Jared Kushner, and then-campaign manager, Paul Manafort were also in attendance — along with a handful of others. Though dubious and naive, speaking with foreigners (even foreign government officials) during an election for political gain isn’t necessarily illegal.

Paul Manafort

Hiring Paul Manafort to run his campaign was both the smartest and dumbest thing President Trump’s done all year. Along with cohort Roger Stone, Manafort literally wrote the book on modern political consultation and government lobbying. The two built our crooked system of government influence from the ground up; and for thirty years have thrived in that vast gray expanse between the immoral and the criminal. They’re schoolyard bullies on a playground of thugs; and have done more to gut and scalp the American Dream than Presidents Wilson, Truman, Nixon, H.W. Bush and Clinton combined. Manafort knows D.C. better than he knows his own mother… So this meeting was no rookie mistake. But again, I digress.

Manafort and Roger Stone

So what exactly are the allegations against Russia? The claim is that Russia hacked into DNC servers and used internet bots to elevate “fake” news stories on social media in order to aid Trump and that his campaign (at the very least) knew about it. But so did the FBI and the Clinton campaign. They too knew this was going on. Besides, it’s not like John Podesta didn’t write those emails. And with regards to the manufacturing of “fake” news: thousands of American reporters, bloggers and radio hosts pass unfounded dribble off as “news” every day.

The real issue though stems from our lack of moral high ground. If we’re going to lambaste anyone for even mildly interfering in our electoral process, we can’t be hypocrites. Not only do we openly engage in similar mischief in foreign elections (both globally important and obscure), we perfected the process. Fuck, in the last eighty years we’ve openly deposed multiple democratically elected leaders, only to install brutal puppet dictators in their place. We got a dose of our own medicine and it was bitter…

Of course, this wouldn’t have even been newsworthy if the Chinese had done the same to aid the Clinton campaign. Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson would pick it up, but there’d be silence at CNN. And that’s the whole point… In our world of infotainment, we have to take this shit with a grain of salt. Obviously there’s something — some kernel of truth — to these allegations of collusion, but it’s likely not nearly as pervasive as the left-leaning media purports it to be.

Besides, unwanted Russian influence in our elections has been going on since the end of the Second World War. British and French influences go back even further… not to mention the influence of the Chinese and Israelis. They’re all trying to advance their own national interest. And why shouldn’t they? We must also remember that such propaganda comes not just from foreign governments, but also from foreign corporations and billionaires who see a stake for themselves in our electoral outcomes. George Soros openly brags about personally overthrowing foreign governments, Ukraine being the jewel in his crown. This is nothing new. What is new though is how meticulously the media is scrutinizing this administration — and the way they attack each other like stray dogs.

Let’s (for the sake of argument) just assume for a moment that Trump is an absolute tool of the Kremlin — a puppet so compromised and treasonous that his mouth can’t move unless Putin tickles his colon. Then that would mean that Russian intelligence has a better understanding of what the American people want than our own politicians do!

Globalism has failed the American worker. And like most countries, voters expect our own national interests to take precedence over global initiatives or those of foreign governments and corporations. Thus, if Trump’s candidacy really was just a front for the advancement of a Russian agenda, it almost doesn’t matter — because their interests are clearly more in line with the voting public than those of mainstream Democrats and Republicans. Otherwise, Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush would be president.

To be sure, Russia is an adversary — but if we are fellow travelers for a brief moment, so what? We can share the road so long as we don’t follow them into the ditch of autocracy. We were way closer to that before Trump came along anyway (the dynastic Bushes and Clintons). Even rivals can find common ground once in a while. And Syria is a great place to start.

Globally, the U.S. is playing checkers while Vladimir Putin plays chess. And for all his ills, he remains one of the most cunning and patient men in international politics. Meanwhile we splash around, foolish and brash, like a brat pissing his pants in the kiddie pool. Putin is smart — way smarter than Trump or Obama. He has to be. He heads the world’s largest mafia.

The Russians didn’t want Hillary Clinton to be president… So what? Neither did I… Neither did half of America. And even after all this, polls show that if the election were held again today, Donald Trump would still win. Make of that what you will… Regardless, we’re back to square-one: Donald Trump is the president and the bubble-boys on the coasts are still butt-hurt.