Forging Resilience: Lessons from a Nomadic Life, Volume V
I find life on the road to be a transformative process. When you’re living out of a suitcase, there’s so much uncertainty in your day-to-day life. To a certain degree, you’re in a state of survival. All that you own, all of your possessions, are always with you. With that said, you are legitimately ready for anything all the time. I believe this type of instinct is what allows people to thrive because it’s legitimately do or die. This can overwhelm some, and people can go a lifetime without ever having been in this state of mind. You can ease yourself into it by traveling quite a bit. Anytime you’re exposed to a new environment with people who look different, speak differently, and dress differently, trying to adapt to varying cultural norms, you can find yourself disconnected. At this point, you have to rely on the human condition, recognizing that at the end of the day, people are people. This comes down to your values.
To go one step further, you will have to develop strong communication skills. You must understand how body language, tonality, and your overall approach to starting a conversation or asking a question can yield a response to begin navigating. The more environments you’re around, the easier it becomes to identify different cues and establish a process of how to gather intel and understand your environment. You need to identify the places you need to be, who has resources, who has access to resources, or who knows someone who can get you what you need at a specific period of time.
As I reflect on this, I think about how much of a teacher college is — not because of what you learn in the classroom, but the fact that you may play a sport, live in a dorm, and have different classes each semester with different professors and classmates. You can’t avoid the fact that you’re going to have to navigate and get by, and it’s helped even more if you’re far away from home. This is what growing up is all about. Around 80% of Americans end up living within 20 miles of their hometown. So, while you may evolve, educate yourself, develop skills, become a professional, and start a family, the aspect of becoming really adaptive comes from putting yourself out there and making quick decisions that will dictate your livelihood.
I went to four universities. One was a junior college where I was exposed to a bunch of raw football players. They all had an alpha male mentality — very large human beings with the desire to go to a Division I college to play football. So, you already know that you’re dealing with a very unique type of human. Throughout America, football, especially at the JUCO level, is full of guys who are non-qualifiers academically, so clearly they have no regard for rules. Well, that’s the environment I was thrown into. It was even crazier because the campus I lived on transformed into many of the hoods that these guys were from. There was legitimately a part of campus they defined as “the projects.” I found it fascinating — the music playing, people lurking outside of the dorms, the marijuana smoke once you stepped on the other side.
Meeting new people, the cultures that are developed on campus, and the brotherhood amongst your closest friends is what college is about. From my experience at Dean College to transferring to a small university in Maryland, where I was a New England boy, I was just not acclimated to Maryland cultural norms. This wasn’t the University of Maryland with a large out-of-state population; this was a state school. I had no mutual connections. When I went to school to play football and quickly got hurt, missing a large part of the season, I was unable to adjust. I didn’t have an identity to stand on that would allow me to mold into a group and find friends. The fact that I wasn’t able to pick up an identity made it even more difficult to have any type of confidence to go on dates and build relationships with females. I believe that every time we go on a date or are in a relationship, those experiences help define us and understand the values and traits we’re going to look for in a partner as we age.
Then came a small state school in Massachusetts — a State University with just a bunch of blue-collar kids. No one gave a shit. Everyone came from fairly middle-class families and similar towns in Massachusetts, like Natick, where I was from. So I understood everybody. There were no racial biases — a handful of athletes, but everybody got along. It had a great culture, with track teams, baseball teams, and a larger talent pool due to the local colleges in the area.
From there, moving to Florida as a young adult introduced me to a variety of stimuli at 21 years old. This set the stage for my travels, being homeless, and living out of a suitcase on countless occasions. Fast forward a decade from when I finished my undergrad to coming up on the age of 32, this is the first time in 10 years I’ve lived in Massachusetts full-time. Staying in a small room in my mom’s apartment and literally jumping from different family members defined the majority of my time at MIT. I am in a state of survival. However, I have acclimated to the city of Boston. I know the city like the back of my hand and know where to go to get what I need.
I have traveled quite a bit, having gone to 44 of the 50 states. The only state where I stayed long enough to get an understanding of how things work was Florida. Even there, I jumped around from city to city, experiencing four different major markets within the state. All those cities have different identities, making it even more difficult to get acclimated. So, at 32 years old, I’ve never been in one place long enough as an adult to develop a rhythm, get acclimated, or have a defined quality of life, good or bad.
Now, I believe in patterns and developing habits. I am a fairly regimented person and have all different perspectives. Moving around too much hinders your ability to legitimately yield results. But right now, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I’m living out of a suitcase in a place that I know incredibly well — not just from history, with this being my actual home city, but because I’ve now been here for a year. The experiences I’ve garnered, my comfortability, familiarity with three sources of income, understanding of the city’s climate, and the variance in culture from a town or county basis all contribute. I have a unique story, which allows me to find relatability with anyone I come across.
You never quite understand what you’re going through and why you’re dealing with it when you’re in it, but you find yourself in a state of confirmation where previous experiences not only fuel you but facilitate your future success. I know I’m about to take off. I’m attacking each day with vigor because I have to think on my feet. I know that I have no time to waste, but I’m operating in a total state of the unknown. One quote that I live by is, “Desperation leads to innovation.” When I’m in a state where I have to figure out how to survive, this is where I thrive, and I feel most alive.
My Takeaway
Life on the road has been a crucible, forging resilience and adaptability. As I look back on the various phases of my life, from the raw football culture at JUCO to the cultural dissonance in Maryland, the familiarity of Massachusetts, and the diverse challenges of Florida, I’ve learned to navigate through chaos. Each experience has been a stepping stone, shaping my perspective and preparing me for the next challenge.
In the end, it’s about harnessing the chaos, finding patterns, and turning desperation into innovation. This journey has not only been about survival but about thriving and evolving into the best version of myself.
