Cowgirls and House Husbands
(aka “Raise Healthier Kids with One Simple Trick”)
Our global obsession with pink and blue stereotypes has left me bone tired.
Humans have been around for hundreds of thousands of years and yet…. the idea that both men and women can literally do anything for a career is somehow shiny and new.
This important — and somewhat depressing — research from Common Sense Media concludes that kids as young as two are assaulted daily with messages that:
- Perpetuate stereotypes about gender
- Place more value on “boy” traits like strength than “girl” traits like compassion
As I wrote in this post last year, toy retailers carry just as much blame as big media does. The “pinkification” of toy aisles is out of control.

Why can’t we all focus on helping kids grow into complete, confident and compassionate human beings? WHY?
Is it really so hard to teach our boys and girls the value of caring for others AND the value of being strong? Our research at codeSpark shows that kids hate being stereotyped but people often use poor analysis of group statistics to do exactly that.
For example, if you give a large sample of kids a choice between activities that are competitive, nurturing or creative — the majority of boys will opt for a competitive activity and the majority of girls will choose a nurturing activity.
However, hidden in this data is the fact that if those kids are allowed to play ALL three types of games over 90% will choose to do so!
(Note: this is from our internal testing data with over 200 play testers)
The time spent in each activity will follow the patterns noted above for the majority — but the real point is that they enjoy mixing things up.

I believe we can raise much healthier kids with one simple trick.
Present all toys, books and shows as something both girls and boys like. Your child might not ultimately like the thing — but not because they are a girl or a boy! They might not like it because all people like different things, and that’s great.
“Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls” was clearly written with girls in mind. However, the book's fantastic one page stories about great women in history should be equally appealing for boys in the target age group (6 — 12) and serve the important function of giving both girls and boys more female role models.
Imagine a world where — if kids are asked to make a list of their 10 favorite historical figures — 90% would list five women and five men regardless of the kid’s gender. That would be a well balanced world I’d love to live in.
So, parents, next time you find yourself giving your child a toy or a story, think carefully about how you introduce it. It’s actually pretty easy to present everything as “something both girls and boys like” even if it’s wrapped in pink or blue. I think you’ll quickly see how your conversations about identity and gender roles change as well. With a little effort we can all build a more balanced world together.
