Starting four years ago, I began sporadically writing reviews of new and old Christmas albums as I looked to expand my holiday playlist and introduce others to my personal favorites. For each album, I try to “live” with it for at least a day and listen to it multiple times.
You’ve likely heard Sia’s 2017 entry into the Christmas music annals even if you didn’t know it — her songs have provided the backdrop for Target’s Christmas ads for the past two years and they’ve proven to have some staying power in the holiday music rotation for radio stations.
Credit where credit is due: instead of assembling a hodge-podge of Christmas covers, Sia decided to carve out new territory with an album full of original songs she co-wrote. It’s a bold choice, but one that deserves to be applauded in a genre that’s adverse to originality.
The end result is a sugary-sweet bubblegum pop treat, even if it is a little unevenly baked. To start, it’s a little hard to tell who exactly this album is for. You’d be forgiven for thinking it’s aimed at kids — many of the songs have a “Bubble Guppies,” animated kids show quality to them. But at the same time, “Ho Ho Ho” describes a drunken party full of misfits downing “cream and whiskey bourbon.” Not exactly kids’ stuff.
There’s also some issues with the lyrics. Throughout the album, Sia sings lines that on paper seem like ominous warnings, such as “Santa’s coming for us” and “it’s Christmas time, so run for your life.” I don’t know if I’m supposed to be excited about the jolly old elf’s arrival or hastily assembling a bug-out bag. In addition, several songs have choruses that are just one line repeated over and over — great for drilling into your brain, but ultimately substance-free and a little annoying.
Despite the flaws, there’s a lot to like about the album. Sia starts things off on the right foot with “Santa’s Coming for Us,” a bouncy celebration of the arrival of the holiday season that dares you not to groove along with the bass line. “Sunshine,” a reminder that things will always get better, sounds like it would have been right at home in the mid-2000s, Sara Bareilles “Love Song” era.
“Ho Ho Ho” is a partying tribute to the Island of Misfit Toys from the Rudolph special, like a Ke$ha-style holiday song that’s half “Raise Your Glass,” half New Orleans parade. While it’s weird, it’s a lot of fun, with a marching beat, a rowdy brass section, and a bit of a pirate vibe.
The weirdness doesn’t stop there. “Snowman” is a 60s-inspired ballad to — what else? — a snowman. The lyrics are absolutely bonkers, including baffling lines where Sia entreats her lover not to melt away by asking him questions like “Who’ll carry me without legs to run, honey?” and “Who’ll hear my secrets if you don’t have ears, baby?” I’m not sure what kind of snowmen Sia builds, but most snowmen have neither ears nor legs.
To be clear, this song is distinct from the song immediately following it where Sia declares her undying affection for a snowflake. At least “Snowflake,” a tender, beautiful love song, could be construed as a metaphor (although it’s a little concerning how worried Sia is that her lovers are going to melt away).
Sia also includes “Puppies Are Forever,” a cautionary reminder about the responsibilities that come with pet ownership. The song entreats listeners to think twice about gifting puppies for Christmas while sampling portions of “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?”
But despite the strangeness, the album has a way of sticking with you. As with her non-holiday work, Sia has succeeded in crafting effective earworms — I found myself humming the songs hours and even days after listening. Like a bowl full of frosting, I can’t help myself from sneaking back for another taste, even if too much makes you sick.
Rating: 7 Swans a’Swimming out of 12
High Point of the Album: “Santa’s Coming For Us”
