A Christmas Letter

Dear Bryce,

Merry Christmas Buddy. I hope this is enough of a Christmas gift, because I don’t know what else to get you. I think this would make you happy, and you would probably end up crying over this, because you would cry over almost everything.

I miss you. I miss seeing those tears stream down your face while you watched videos online, like homeless puppies or military homecomings. I miss those big bear hugs I would get from you after a few days of not seeing you. I would give anything for one more high-five contest, where I would smack your hand until I couldn’t take it anymore. What I wouldn’t give to hear one more funny comment during a serious movie.

It has been 688 days since I’ve seen you; yet, I still remember what your hugs feel like. I still remember your laugh when something was really funny. I still remember all the conversations we had about love, life, family, the future and God. I will never meet someone who will compare to you.

I would like to think that if you could see me today, you would be proud of me. You would read all my writing and encourage me to keep doing it. You would talk to me about my magic, my jobs, school and anything else going on because we talked about anything and everything.

I know Christmas was one of your favorite times of year. You would get me something small because you couldn’t afford much. I would get you something, and now, looking back, I should have gotten you more. I should have gotten you a new camera lens, or new computer program, or anything you asked for. Only if I knew.

I love you, more than I ever showed you.

You made me who I am today. I wish I wouldn’t had taken you for granted like I did. You were my uncle, and I didn’t think you were going to leave so soon. I wish you could have seen me get my license, or graduate high school, or see Cory graduate college. I wish you could see Cory get married to his beautiful fiancé Amanda (or meet her, because she is pretty great), or see me get married one day. I wish you could be here to see me with Ayla. I know you would love her as much as I do.

There is so much you are going to miss.

I wish I could spend this Christmas with you. I wasn’t done hanging out with you, because I wasn’t done asking you questions, or giving you gifts, or pushing you car out of the snow, because I wasn’t done with you.

Bryce, why did you have to go? I had so many questions, but you just left. That sucks, but I know it’s not your fault. I just wish you could come back. It’s okay, though, I know you wanted to see all of those things, if you had a choice.

I don’t know what else to say. I wish I had made it to the hospital to say good-bye. I was late by ten minutes. Why didn’t you wait? I guess it was easier that way. Since we didn’t see each other, it probably made it easier for you, but not for me. I just want you to know that I miss you, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you.

I hope you think about me in Heaven. I know you are doing well there, because who wouldn’t do well in Heaven? I bet you are taking a picture of a sunset right now. Through your lens, it is probably the most beautiful sunset in history. I can’t wait to see you again one day. Rest in Peace Big Bad Booty Daddy. I love you.

Merry Christmas Buddy,

Cody.

P.S. I told you I wouldn’t cry at your funeral. Before or after the funeral doesn’t count. So I still win our bet.