Can’t someone just off Kim Jong Un already?

The RQ 170

1: Pop the clown with a drone or something

It sounds easy, because it is easy. Obama showed us how. Okay, sure, the airspace over North Korea might be SLIGHTLY more contested than that of the Afghan-Pakistan border, but that’s why we’re using COMPUTERS and not REAL PEOPLE! We’ve seen one stealth drone operational, many technology demonstrators and there is near certainty in the aviation community that at least a few operational penetrating, low observable unmanned aircraft that can carry munitions internally exist in some dusty desert hangers. This would almost certainly be the sword, rather than the straight — winged Reapers of the past.

2. SEAL Team Six him while he’s at Un-A-Lago

Like his American counterpart, the ruler of the reclusive Democratic People’s Republic of Korea seems to enjoy the salty sea whistling through his sculpted helmet of dictator — hair. His seaside resort north of Wonson has all the amenities and comforts of any western resort, with anti-diver netting, coastal patrols, his own train station and 24 hour guard by the most well fed handpicked troops in the land.

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USS Michigan (SSGN-726) arrives at Busan. Note the SDV pod aft of the sail.

3. Hit him with 154 cruise missiles at once

Again leveraging the converted Ohio class SSGN “Arsenal Ships”, the strike could be delivered by that perennial agent of American foreign policy, the Tomahawk missile. One hundred fifty-four missiles, many with independent approaches to target, all launched within the space of a few minues — such a strike is almost impossible for anyone but a near-peer to detect and avoid. Even if a few peter out on the way and plop into the ocean, which statistics show at least three or four certainly will — only a hardened shelter could survive.

Sometimes Tomahawks just won’t hack it

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Cold War Crunk

Cold War Crunk

Defense articles & satire from an over-Clancy’d enthusiast