La Foret, a Review
Nestled away at the end of a middle class neighbourhood deep in the heart of Burnaby is La Foret. This café has it all, overpriced macchiatos, underwhelming desserts, and interior walls made out of stones, loosely held together by a maze of mesh.
When you arrive at La Foret, you are greeted by what appears to be the exterior of the most trendy auto repair shop in all of the Lower Mainland. Once you finally stop trying to drive your G Wagon through the garage bay door that still dominates the exterior, you might find time to marvel at the artsy ivy placed on the side of the building. “How aesthetically pleasing,” you think to yourself as you reach the entrance.
Once you set foot inside of the establishment, your eardrums are instantaneously assaulted by overplayed Top 40, with the odd mom jam from the early 2000’s thrown in. Anyone for some James Blunt? Once you get over the shock of how loud the music, you can start to look at the cafe’s interior. At first glance, it’s as if Tarzan suddenly became an urban hipster, and re designed a New York loft to give it a more jungle inspired feel. And it’s massive! It feels as though one might need to bring a golf cart or bicycle to reach the counter to place an order.
After you’ve gone on a small safari to place an order, you’ll find several friendly staff members to help you in your quest for a beverage, meal, or tasty treat. Be forewarned, everything is pricy, and I would hate myself if I loved coffee enough that I had to frequently visit an establishment such as this. After re-enacting several scenes from Jumanji on the way back to your seat, which is either on woven wicker that chafes your butt, or a slab of cold concrete with a seat cushion on loan from someone’s 2003 Ford Focus, one can sit back and enjoy the atmosphere. By now the music has switched to “Complicated” by Avril Lavigne, the flower on your latte has become deformed, and you’ve scrolled through fifteen different filters for the artsy AF picture that you’re about to post on VSCO, along with your risqué cat costume from Halloween.
After finally absorbing all the culture one can possibly handle in a day, you pick up your MacBook, adjust your wire rimmed glasses, ignore the man complaining to the staff about the lack of a charging station for his Tesla, and start the five kilometre hike to the exit, all the while dreaming about the next La Foret experience.