Grandson IT Support

What follows is a transcript of multiple telephone conversations between a grandfather and his grandson. We chose not to reveal their names in order to protect their identity.

10/23/2011: 11:17 AM

GRANDFATHER: Why won’t my computer work?

GRANDSON: I don’t know. Did you turn it on?

GRANDFATHER: (crying) I have to turn it on!

10/25/2011: 4:38 PM

GRANDFATHER: Why is this goddam paperclip looking at me?

GRANDSON: It’s just a Microsoft thing to help you–

GRANDFATHER: Help me? Is he going to change my catheter at three in the morning?

GRANDSON: What? Gross, no.

GRANDFATHER: (crying) Why won’t it leave me alone?

10/28/2011: 7:41 AM

GRANDFATHER: I’ve just received a very disturbing email.

GRANDSON: Is it about the price of gold?

GRANDFATHER: No. Mickey is trapped in Guatemala. Some of the shady locals stole his wallet.

GRANDSON: Grandpa, he’s not in Guatemala. He can barely make it to synagogue on Yom Kippur.

GRANDFATHER: Listen to me, goddammit. I have to put $1,000 into the Internet. Should I call the bank or just put the bills in the CD-ROM?

GRANDSON: No! Don’t put any bills anywhere. He’s not in Guatemala. It’s a scam, grandpa.

GRANDFATHER: Scam? Why would he do that to me? We grew up together!

GRANDSON: Not Mickey, some Russian probably.

GRANDFATHER: (crying) The Russians?