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I was going through ancient files on my computer, and I came across something that I wrote on December 11, 2008. I barely remember writing it.
A bit of background info about me: I’ve been working in advertising graphic design since July of 1996, and specifically automotive advertising since February of 2000. I’m sooooo tired of it. But! It’s what guided this little bit of fluff out of my fevered brain and into the world.
Remember, this was December of 2008. Obama had just won the Presidential election, and theories about what would happen to the country were flying thick. While I did vote for him — and would again four years later — I am a cynical and skeptical person. That said, I long for those good old days right now. I may have to update this to match the current state of the country.
Also, all numbers were made entirely up. No research went into this. At all.
Powered by Hopes & Dreams
[Open with stock footage of forests being clear cut]
Announcer (in solemn voice) :
“Were you aware that it takes approximately 2,000 trees to power a single hybrid vehicle for a month? That’s 24,000 trees a year, for each and every hybrid on the road. This leaves over 400,000 woodland creatures homeless every year…”
[close shot of a bunny being pushed (possibly nudged with a boot toe) from a patch of grass onto pavement] (offscreen male voice) : “Go on, you.”
[cut to announcer in office, wearing glasses, looking concerned, dressed conservatively]
Announcer (continues) :
“And it’s only getting worse as more and more hybrids are purchased. Does this sound green to you? Is it environmentally friendly? The bunnies sure don’t think so. Neither do we. Unlike the bunnies…
[cut to bunny sitting in front of a handgun]
“… we decided to seek out a non-violent solution to the problem.
[cut to stock footage of scientist doing science stuff]
“That’s why we gathered together the top minds from around the world to work on creating an engine that would run on something that could be found almost everywhere –
[cut back to announcer, in office full of bunnies]
“ — especially in America…
[picks up bunny, looks into camera]
“Hopes and dreams!
[sets down bunny]
“That’s right. An engine powered by something available on every street corner in America these days! Just look around! Never before have we had such a large surplus of hopes and dreams in our country, and it’s all just sitting there, waiting to be tapped. You must be wondering, is that possible? Can we do it?
[announcer takes off glasses and smiles]
“YES! WE DID!
“Introducing the all new Obamamobile!
[cut to…. something. At the least it should have unicorns and rainbows on it.]
“The only vehicle fueled entirely by the hopes and dreams of its occupants. If you’re traveling in the new Obamamobile and you aren’t gong fast enough, then someone’s not hoping or dreaming hard enough!
“Coming soon to a dealer near you!”
Disclaimer: EPA estimate average of 500 miles per dream, highway, 300 miles per hope, city. Attitude may vary. Riding with a teenager or anyone prone to mood swings may cause sudden loss of acceleration and airbag deployment. Emergency Prozac is located in the glove compartment. Dealer retains all rebates and incentives.
