How studying design made me not want to be a designer anymore.
Bachelor Portfolio
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After school, I exactly knew I wanted to become a designer and do what I love to do for a living. That said, and with the position that formal education in the design world is nice, but not a must, I just wanted to get going. Jumping from school to an apprenticeship, I loved every day of the about eight years I spent full-time in the product design world and had both feeds on solid ground regarding my career.
What brought me to start to study anyway, was the narrow focus you get in any job and the motivation to grow, to concentrate on the areas I am interested in, without the limits of an employer.
And the time here brought so much more than just that…
Re-invent the police!
15PSs-PW / Prof. Reto Wettach
Together with Jonas English & William Schmidt
The first class, the first touchpoint with being a student — leaving a properly paid job behind, moving ~500km into a city you don’t know, in the middle of corona. The object of the class was to design a solution to mitigate the efforts of the police in cases of minor damages, e.g. wildlife accidents.
This one is particularly interesting because with all the intentions, high expectations, and determination I basically run against a wall. I was here to get new perspectives and suddenly I am simply doing what I did for the last eight years. It was an „okay… that’s it?“ situation.
Don’t get me wrong, the class was awesome, a super nice team, a super interesting setup, during corona to not start with your first class purely digital, was great. It was just a mirror that it will need a lot of effort to disattach from my prior work life. And on how much work it will be to allow myself to actually grow in the capacity of why I started to study, to get outside of my comfort zone.
What the three of us actually did in the end is to design a chat-like mobile platform where users can document minor damages on there own, get guided by an questionnaire, but are able to request human support at every point of the process. We provide a solution for self-help, but keep the fallback, which is crucial for trust in the solution on the customer’s side and a fail-safe on the authority's side.
Reflection: I am actually grateful for that class to be my first point of contact. The class set the right tone, was fun, and a welcoming experience — but more crucially was the right anchor to refine my own approach.
Design by Zufall
21EPd-F / Prof. Silvia Knüppel
Speaking about refining my approach and getting outside of my comfort zone, I intentionally choose a lot of classes not just outside of my comfort, but also the zone of my professional interest.
For example this class, which dealt with randomness as a co-designer in product design. In the digital world we basically don’t have something like that, at least not by accident.
My work in this class dealt with shirts, designed by waves. Marbles, in covered in paint, in a box, attached to a shirt, which it self is placed in a box, which then is thrown into the sea or a river; and thus facilitates the movement of the waves as an co-author of the design printed on the shirt.
Reflection: You learn the most from areas you never expect it. And if you let them also from the uncomfortable places. While there is just no natural randomness in the digital, Siliva’s style of feedback don’t resonates with me. This class gave me way more about collaboration, how different designers think, and perspectives on non-digital goods, than actually applicable insights for my own design; and with that it was awesome, it did exactly what I wanted from it.
Meanwhile…
Some of the things I did at the FHP alongside to actual study:
- Info-Tag 2021
15PSs-PO-S - SHK at the deans office
2021–2023 - Campusambulanz 2021
15PSs-PO-L - Werkschau 2021
24PSs-PO-S - Member of the Senat
2021–2023 - Info-Tag 2022
24PSs-PO-S - Campusambulanz 2022
24PSs-PO-L - FEE
- Werkschau 2022
- “Reflexion Campusambulanz und Eignungsprüfung”
project week class, lecturer - Campusambulanz 2023
…together with so many people that it’s impossible to list them all here.
It all started with the Info-Tag 2021. I just saw the workspace in Incom and joined. Especially during corona I just saw it as important to support potential new students. My main participation, together with Toni Flügel, laid in designing the process to submit the portfolio for the consultation and moderating the main room in zoom.
Then I was asked to become SHK. As such I managed the digital environment of examinations, especially the aptitude tests, and supported basically where I could. Probably the biggest contribution was to setup and introduce the new examination incom workspaces, for students and for lecturers. And since the aptitude tests where already a big part of my SHK duties, there was a symbiotic relationship with the Campusambulanz and to support there, especially with the digital aptitude testing during corona.
As I can’t list everybody I collaborate with, it’s also impossible to go into the details about everything.
Something I wanna anyhow specifically mention, though, is FEE. FEE was Elena Langer, student vice president of the university at the time, and my, I became a member of the senate at some point, project to get students informed about what is going on in the university — giving them room to connect to the politics, to express their positions, and ultimately find a successor for Elena.
Basically, we placed ourselves for something like six weeks in front of the Mensa, twice a week, and just were there to talk.
Reflection: Besides a deep and somewhat unique look behind the scenes of the university, this was probably the most valuable and educational part of my studies. It was basically the red line throughout, combining things on so many levels. It allowed me, while building on my experience, to bring the strings together.
…fail, fail again, fail better
When I began my studies, I thought that I knew exactly who I am and what I wanted from life. Excel as a designer and use the time as a student to grow, to become a more complete designer. And I archived that, throughout my studies, I refined as a designer — but also developed in areas I never anticipated.
I was determined, and driven, lived to the fullest, and got thirstier and thirstier. Each project, critique, and iteration honed my abilities, pushing me further and further. From collaborative projects to solo endeavors, each experience enriched my understanding of design and life. These moments were not just about learning; they were about connecting with peers, mentors, and the creative community, forging some relationships that maybe last a lifetime. I made some of the best experiences I can imagine and buttoned up some of the most valuable contacts I can imagine.
Then, then I got lost in myself. I’ve got to know my limits. That time broke me, made me question myself. I hit rock bottom. I began to see myself in new facets, exploring parts of my identity and personality that had previously been hidden — and while painful, that time allowed me to get to know myself in a completely different light and brought with that by far the biggest learnings. My studies have been so much more than an academic pursuit; they have been a journey to myself. And maybe I found myself in the process.
Of course, that’s not “just” linked to my professional life, especially in design it never is. I argue that to be a designer is not a job, it’s a point of view on the world, it’s a part of who you are.
When I became a student I was active in some of the biggest national federations in Germany, was a member of the board of one, and became during my studies additionally a member of the board of another one. I loved every second, I am extremely thankful for all the unique experiences. Last year, I stepped down — stepped down and left all of this behind me, moved on, and found new rooms to excel.
Over the past months, I played a lot with the question “to be or to do”. I want to do, and not just to be something or someone. The rooms I was in, were the right ones at the time — and now I’ve simply outgrown them (which by the way does not say anything about the quality or worth of the room). Something ends, something begins.
While I am for sure a decent designer, I no longer see myself (traditionally speaking) as such. I don’t see myself as a craftsman, not as someone who rocks the design process day in, and day out. My strengths lie much more in the operational management of creative work, processes, and people.
And no — I don’t wan’t to leave the realm of design, I love this place — I’ve just outgrown the craft and moved into the room next door. A room which is now to be explored.
