I talked a bit about my channel’s demographics yesterday and how it’s a roughly 50/50 split between men and women.
It may disappoint some of my subscribers to know that I was, and remain to this day, a massive Bernie Bro.
From the perspective of being a Ben Solo Stan, this is kind of interesting. Bernie is pretty much the antithesis of the Alt-Right, and Ben Solo finds himself in the grip of a fascist regime that is basically the Star Wars stand-in for modern White Supremacy in the good ol’ United States.
So I can’t really relate to his character on that level. Don’t know what it’s like to continuously, day in and day out, exist on message boards and websites that are chock-full of hateful rhetoric and all sorts of conspiracies about the downfall of Western civilization.
When I was growing up, I did start out leaning conservative. I went through a pretty strong Ron Paul libertarian phase for awhile. Then I morphed into [I-Don’t-Care], and then when Bernie ran, I became solidly progressive.
I’m still coo’ with libertarians.
I think progressives and libertarians have a few similarities. Of course, there are major differences when it comes to how much the government should be involved in the operation of the economy, but I don’t see that difference as insurmountable. I think if progressives and libertarians were to replace the two major parties, they’d actually work together and figure out what is efficient policy and what isn’t, but I digress.
Bernie’s 2016 campaign was during my fourth and final year at the University of Denver.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I became more excited, more active, more energized for his campaign than I was for any of the classes I took during my entire time in college.
I was so committed to helping Bernie win that I damn near almost failed to graduate. I donated around $1,000 to Bernie’s campaign and made over 1,000 phone calls encouraging people to get out to vote in the primaries.
I met up with some fellow Bernie-folk to strategize for the caucus, then walked with them to the school where it was held. It was a memorable experience participating in that caucus. It felt like I was contributing to the future of my nation. I’m proud to say that Bernie won my home state of Colorado.
I put all my focus into that instead of studying for those really tough fourth-year biochemistry courses. It almost cost me my degree, TBH. I’m okay with that. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing.
So fast forward to YouTube. Why do I tell you this? Well, I think it’s in the interest of being honest. Political views are something people take really seriously.
I don’t take them that seriously anymore. But in the interest of honesty, I have to tell my subscribers that I went pretty rabid Bernie Bro during the primary. I was a vicious attack dog on Clinton and her supporters.
I regret attacking her supporters as fervently as I did, but I don’t regret being against Clinton, and never will. I think she was the wrong candidate to run against Trump and I stand by that.
But gaining a bunch of subscribers who were Reylos, which is the reason my demographics are a 50–50 split between men and women, really made me think about why I was lobbing so much hatred at Clinton supporters.
Obviously, it was because I thought it was helping the cause. I’ve come to see that really, it was just a quick, cheap, easy way for me to feel smarter than someone else. It was indulgence in my dark side. It felt good to put other people down and elevate myself, and to feel like I had some intellectual angle on the whole political problem that made me superior to others.
I don’t feel too ashamed of this. Most of us are still behaving this way. And we do so with full self-righteousness when we think the [nasty-people] are on [team-wrong] and we can get away with it because we are on [team-right].
This is relevant because when I stormed into this fandom on the side of Reylo, I carried that same attitude of self-righteousness into my conduct towards other fans, whether they be [non-reylos], [tlj-haters] or what have you.
I wasn’t even aware of the degree to which that kind of behavior had been allowed to carry over into something that ultimately shouldn’t be taken that seriously (Star Wars, of course).
When I woke up to this, I felt really nasty inside. I felt like I had twisted something that should be a fun experience into another excuse to put others down and mock them.
And ultimately, over what? Artistic taste pertaining to a fictional film franchise? I felt like a joke. And I don’t regret this feeling. I can never go back to using my [bullshit-artistic-taste] as an excuse to mock other people.
Anywho, Bernie lost, I got pissed, became apathetic, and tapped out of politics until recently. I managed to graduate college (one quarter later than my peers), and then everything fell apart. Another story, for another time.
I didn’t even vote in the 2016 general election. Now before you shame me, just know that Clinton won both the states I could have voted in (CO or CA), so I ask you the question, what was my vote even worth? Both of those states were Clinton-givens. If I had lived in a swing state, I’d have definitely voted.
And so, after college, I became depressed, started losing my will to live, etc, etc. Same old yatta yatta bullshit. Another story, for another time.
But all those feelings of hatred, anger, rage against a system. Those still lingered, persisted, and found a dumping ground in this fandom. I got involved in drama disputes on Discord, saying several mean words that hurt a lot of feelings.
And if your eyes are open, you will see that the tone of my videos leading up to my breakdown is very cocksure, self-righteous, and full of myself.
Why? Same old yatta yatta bullshit. Feeling confident that I’m on [team-right] and everyone else is on [team-wrong].
No more of that out of this one. Time to find a different way to express my views.
Now, I’m still a Bernie Bro. I will support him until he either wins or loses the nomination. I’ve gotten really spooked about Trump lately, especially in light of recent developments pertaining to his connection to Jeffrey Epstein, and so this time around, I will definitely support the candidate that runs against him in the general election.
But you’re going to have to tolerate my Bernie Bro-ism for a while, because the policies Bernie advocates for, the vision he has for this nation, and the conduct he has displayed as a public official during his career are all things that directly relate to my upbringing, my life, and what I believe every person in this country deserves from the get-go.
The only promise I can make to you is that I won’t hate on supporters of other candidates, but I will reserve the right to express my views regarding why other candidates aren’t as solid of a choice as Bernie. If you can handle your candidate being critiqued, you can handle me. If not, well, I don’t know what to tell you.
I mention all of this only because I know that many of my subscribers were probably Clinton supporters, given that 50–50 male-female split.
What do you make of that?
I think it’s funny as shit lol. But that’s just me.