I had an errand to do today, and I thought I’d go home early. But, I went to my favorite cafe instead. Ordered a coffee, and simply sat there. It was fine until I heard what song was playing. It strikes a chord in me, one that causes an ache in my heart. I wish it didn’t though.
Truthfully, I have forgotten how painful that song is. I didn’t expect to hear it on a random afternoon while sipping my coffee, yet I did. It caught me off guard and I don’t know how to react. I just sat there with a heavy heart. I tried to distract myself with a book, but it was a total failure. I couldn’t even finish a page. It was then I realized that I had been there for hours.
I tried to go home, yet somehow, I can’t. I found myself diverting from my usual path, going on ones I rarely took further and further away from home. Tugu. Alun- Alun. Pasar Besar. MOG. Dieng. Blimbing. I lost count of how many times I had passed Suhat. Hell, I even passed three different universities. Yet, nothing seems to clear my mind.
And by the time I grasped reality, I had been riding around for almost an hour. I also hear Malibu Nights playing in my right earphone. Played from the playlist that I swear the songs won’t cause me pain anymore.
Isn’t it funny how it was almost an hour’s ride but the aching was still there?
Again, I don’t know how to stop the aching since it seems nothing has lessened it. I could try almost everything but would it really make any difference, though?
The amount of accidents I would’ve gotten into if I didn’t snap out of it and control Tukkie was concerning. Though, I did wish that perhaps it would at least relieve some of the ache.
I got home with a sore wrist from the ride and what felt like a hole where my heart used to be. Still, the former is truly nothing compared to the latter.
What could I possibly do with this aching I keep feeling? Should I let it linger and suffer through it? Should I invite it and treat it like a guest until it leaves? Would it be worth the time to kick it out when it keeps coming back again? Because really, what do you do with a broken heart?
