mid-college crisis

I feel that our existence is pretty arbitrary at the end of the day. We all hope to leave some type of legacy / make an impact / leave our mark in some way. Working backwards from there, I do not want to blindly accept the funneling of should-be-doing by our society. Like we should go to college then should be getting a cool internship then should be getting a full time then maybe should be doing grad school. Of course, one of these options or paths may be the one I choose and go down but before I do I want to make sure that I can justify to myself why making that choice is advantageous to my end goal, and if not to my end goal, at least I can find some meaning in making that step.

And the material I’m learning in this ivory tower of elite private school education is often times not helpful in solving problems that I feel like matters. Rather its catering to a pretty archaic system of knowledge that either funnels one into academia or drives students who cannot take the material anymore because they feel they’ve lost touch with reality into the work force.

So rather than blindly going by the system and hoping that the end will justify the means — I am trying to learn the knowledge I deem necessary and/or pertinent through this system rather than going along with it and letting it dictate my direction. I have had this conversation with so many of my friends who are all seemingly going through this slump.

We are just at a stage where we are getting those cool internships and about to enter the real world, but desperately trying to find reason and meaning in our school work which seem less and less tangible to our futures — something we all thought would never happen.

Going to grad school is getting that degree and learning a bunch of knowledge that we may or may not apply but getting that degree to fuel us even more in the real world is the incentive that drives most at the end of the day. Even so many of us who love learning feel pretty burnt out and dazed.

Would love to hear any thoughts or responses!