We are currently in the midst of drug outbreak the likes of which our country has not experienced since the crack epidemic of the 1980’s. No, I’m not talking about the opioid crisis currently ravaging communities across the United States, that shit is harmless compared to the our generation’s most griping vice, Nostalgia. Nostalgia is a powerful drug. Like LSD or Psilocybin it detaches a person from reality and causes them to see the world through a the drug’s warped lens. Run a quick Google search about the 90’s and you’ll find countless articles singing the praises of Highlights for…

The Turners outside of the family home

Da Rules Chapter 1. Section 11: “Fairies only grant wishes to miserable children of the dominant species of Earth. If the godchild for whatever reason becomes cheerful or the godchild says, ‘I’m happy and don’t need my godparents anymore,’ the fairies will leave them and search for another miserable child.”

Miserable children. Miserable. Children. The Fairy Council claims they grant fairy godparents to the most miserable children on Earth to lessen their struggles as they work towards adulthood. A noble sounding cause indeed. However, when we take a closer look at their track record this doesn’t seem to be what…

1. Baylor loses to Liberty 48–45

Liberty Running Back, Number 34, “Chuckles”, blows by Baylor defenders

The name Liberty University may not sound immediately familiar to you, and that is probably because Liberty is not your typical university. Liberty is an online-only 2-year vocational school specializing in clowning. Liberty is a damn good clown school, but its alumni usually end up being more well known for their work in the rubber nose than their work on the gridiron. Ronald McDonald played slot receiver during his time at Liberty, Bozo was a team captain and starting outside linebacker, even the clown from Stephen King’s “It” saw some time at long snapper. Great Clowns. Terrible athletes. Because Liberty…

I’ve got no problem with any of these things

My previous article “7 things that I just don’t care for” was a runaway success. However, I can’t help but feel bad capitalizing off of the negativity that has taken over the zeitgeist. So to make up for that, here is a more positive look at society. These are 5 things that I think are completely fine to do/think/enjoy!

1. Complaining about getting Amber Alerts

You’re right, person talking about how it woke them up last night, that is a really terrifying noise. Especially when it sneaks up on you in the dead of night when you aren’t expecting it. God, I’m hard pressed to think…

A few things that kinda rub me the wrong way

Everybody has things they experience in their day to day life that make them roll their eyes, and say “Ugh, come on man.” Here is a list of 7 of those things that should be relatable AF to any millennials out there.

1. People who think bugs bite them more than other people

What’s the deal here? You think you’re better than me? You think you got that sweet blood? You think I got that bad blood? Why do you assume you have any idea what my experience with bug bites is like? Get the fuck out of here.

2. The term “long division”

How one man and one dinner roll company nearly destroyed the Bear Talk Podcast

Saturday, March 11th started just like any other day. I woke up in a cold sweat with a general sense of dread, and a sinking feeling that I’m just not good enough to be the man society expects me to be. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I rolled over, popped my phone off its charger and launched twitter to check in with how voting for The Bear Talk Podcast Awards was going. That’s when everything changed. Looking at the Best Man category, I saw that the worst had happened. Something had gone wrong with the voting system. Hundreds…

Ever since SnapChat launched “stories” back in 2014, every other social media platform has been scrambling to catch up. In just the last year, we’ve seen Instagram, and most recently Facebook, add the feature in an attempt to stay relevant with millennials (sorry Zuck, but its not working). Stories, for those of you still rocking an iPhone 4s, is a feature that allows you to post a series of pictures and videos that are visible for 24 hours before disappearing forever. …

I won’t mince words. Kyle K cheated in this year’s Big Foot Race. He doesn’t want you to know it. The Foot Racing Commission(FRC) doesn’t want you to know it. But it happened. Some have chosen to turn a blind eye to what occurred, but I fear that if we do not take stand now, we risk losing everything that foot racing stands for. It is now abundantly clear, that Kyle K is in bed with the FRC. If this collusion is allowed to continue unchecked, we will see a shadow of corruption cast over the foot racing world that…

1. Kyle K also had Dr. Naomi Stasak, Phd as his teacher in 4th grade.

We already covered what I think her current status is, and I would really hate to bum everyone out again, so I’ll just say this; “Big ups to you Naomi, wherever you may be”

2. His favorite artist is NOT Gotye.

1. Al K had Dr. Naomi Stasak, Phd as his teacher in 4th grade.

She was very old and is probably no longer with us. R.I.P. Naomi gone but never forgotten.

2. He used to wear mainly ankle socks

Connor Grieb

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