PREVIEW OF HATE 2.0: CORVALLIS MORE LIKE YOURTALLASS
Welcome to the Preview of Hate 2.0. A weekly Colorado State athletics preview that used to be hosted on mwcconnection.com but is now hosted here on this website.
Each week, we’ll dive into the next opponent for Colorado State sports and analyze some things you might miss in other publications. This might include the cities, the food, even the culture of the schools Colorado State plays. Just know, if you’re not reading the Preview of Hate, you’re probably not prepared for the game.
This week, we’ve got a SEASON OPENING GAME. This is meant both for the teams playing and COLLEGE FOOTBALL IN GENERAL BABY! Colorado State and Oregon State mutually decided to move their game up and make it the very first football game in the country on Saturday. This is huge because all of the eyes in the country will be on Colorado State football and also because we’ve got that brand new stadium to open up.


Look, I’ll fully cop to this, I wasn’t on board with the On Campus Stadium when they first announced it. The team was 3–9 (again) and had just flatly embarrassed itself with a scandal where two prominent players had curb stomped a freshman after a party. Basically, I was tired of the football team taking headlines and the stadium bonanza felt like another headline. There were plenty of good athletes at the school being overshadowed by bad football and worse people.
But the program turned itself around. Not just on the field, but off it too. The stadium never let itself turn into a fiasco, managed perfectly from moment to moment, and staying on time and under budget. It’s a beaut too. A real winner. The program is good now, basically. Good and ready for primetime spotlight on August 26th.
The Rams take on Oregon State on Saturday, the Beavers are known as the lesser team in Oregon which is unfortunate for them, I cannot relate to such a statement.
Let’s get into those tiers.
For those that weren’t here last year, each Preview of Hate is divided into four TIERS OF HATE. The tiers move up with my hatred. It’s pretty awesome. Let’s get into Tier One.
THE TIERS OF HATE

Tier 1: This fucking statue

Look at that thing, what is going on there? That is weird, I don’t like it. It’s bad. The people and the wall it looks like part of The Sixth Sense. These are Oregon State fans who died and didn’t know it, so they stuck around.
I’m not a hater of abstract art, either. I think the definition of art is not up to society, it is up to the artist. Abstract art is good for culture to question itself and it’s parts. Any culture that didn’t embrace weird, abstract art is one that will eventually crumble upon itself. Nazi Germany despised abstract art, we cannot.
But, that being said, screw this thing. Disappearing ghost ass statue that looks like Platform 9 and 3/4. Not a fan. Get out of here other dimension of Oregon State fans that apparently have something to cheer for.

Tier 2: Oregon State Football History
Oregon State Football has a middled history if you look on the macro. They’re not in a great spot to recruit and this has hurt them big time athletically. But this isn’t the Preview of Excuses. This is the Preview of Hate. I need to roast this team.
From 1971 to 1999 the Oregon State Beavers did not have a winning season.
For nearly 30 seasons, the Oregon State football team didn’t play in a bowl game. They sucked for three decades. The Beavers had only one win EIGHT times during this streak and had one, horrible 0–11 season.
My mom was born in 1964. From the time she was seven until she was 35 years old, Oregon State sucked total butt. I was born eighteen years into this streak and it went for ten more years after. If you had a kid in 1971 it would’ve been a full functioning adult by 1999 and Oregon State still wouldn’t have had a winning season in football.
It’s almost impressive, that kind of ineptitude. I’m flabbergasted. It’s basically a curse at that point, you’d have to think that God was against you. How could you have so many different players, so many classes of athletes, come through your school and not have at least six wins one time? It defies logic, it defies all we know about sports. Marshall University lost their entire team to a plane crash in 1970 and had a winning season before Oregon State. Like, it makes no sense!
I guess if you’re gonna lose, lose so much that people talk about it in their stupid blogs over a decade later.

Tier 3: No Sales Tax Having HeadAsses
OREGON DOESN’T HAVE A SALES TAX.
Now, I won’t get too political on here, you don’t come here to think about the world, you come here to laugh about shitty art. I get that, I respect that. I won’t combine these two things for you.
But why is Oregon so weird about taxes? They cap income tax, they cap property tax, they refuse to have a sales tax. And their cities struggle and their safety net falls and they have a reading level somewhere around the sixth grade.
Maybe these things are all tied together???
There are a lot of misconceptions about Oregon. A lot of people think of Portland or Eugene and it’s absolutely not that. It is incredibly rural, there are a ton of backwoods towns and it honestly can referred to as a bit more southern in nature than Pacific Northwest.
There is nothing wrong with the South (besides the open rebellion thing), but Oregon sticks out like a sore thumb in the way they handle things.
Look, I don’t want to tell you how to run your state. But you have to start taxing things. Libertarians can shout all they want in the tweets but when Corvallis’s website has a list of FAQ and they all pertain to the city’s inability to raise money for services…it’s a problem.
It’s a headass solution to a problem, in my opinion. I’m not for it. Please do not debate me on this. The only time I’ll be in support is when the Keystone is exactly 20 dollars and not $21.31 and then you can call me a hypocrite and I’ll say “you know what you’re right but when in Rome.”

Tier 4: The Charles Gaylord House
The Charles Gaylord house is the oldest house in Corvallis. It was built in 1857 they think. So I mean, that’s kind of cool I guess.
But also, Charles Gaylord wasn’t even cool. It’s just some doofuses house. Who cares? Even Greeley, Colorado’s oldest house is Nathan Meeker’s and he was a racist founder of the city who got his ass killed for taking away the Native American horse racing track. So it’s safe to say, Greeley is cooler than Corvallis. Put that on a bumper sticker immediately.

Well maybe that’s a little aggressive you don’t have to add the last line.
Just, if you do keep the last line don’t tell people you got that idea from me. I do not want my name attached to telling an entire city of Oregonians to suck a dick. Not for me, no thank you.
Alright, that’s the new preview. I swear more, that’s pretty much the only difference. This is no longer a blog for babies.
CSU rolls in this one. Oregon State sucks, new stadium emotions. 34–10.
