A Filter for Feminism in Dating
Epistemology in conversation is not a rhetorical tool, but rather a test. A test for whether a conversation — and thus connection — is viable or not. And it is an effective test in dating — especially for intelligent young men.
It could be argued that the most important resource in dating is time. We want to know whether a connection is possible ASAP.
For the contemporary, rational man, there are many ideological red flags he has to look out for in the quest of finding a partner in line with his long term values.
Remember the game minesweeper? Yeah, remember it good.
Perhaps the top grievance and concern for logical men is feminism.
If you are discussing feminism, with a nice pretty young lady, it’s important to remember the following: that term could literally mean anything.
So we need an efficient methodology for determining what this term means to the girl, and any red flags that may be associated with it.
In my experience, what young women mean by feminism can range from peer pressure compliance — to thinking borderline(?) sarcastically that men should be put in camps and women deserve unilateral totalitarian political power. I am only 75% sure that the Facebook page Womyn for Omnipotent Government is a parody.
So it’s tough out there lads. And I’m sorry. But we must boldly go forward if we wish to have children, romantic love, and civilization.
When I say compliance to peer pressure, I mean that if you get into empirical data about what mainstream feminism does in practice, they will not disagree with you. They mainly accept feminism out of in-group compliance and approval from other female peers.
Women like this — if they have integrity — can make stable partners, or mothers in the long run — depending on what you are looking for. It means they understand the value of logic and empirical data, but are simply conforming to their natural female tendencies to get along socially.
Epistemology and Methodology is Everything
So if a red flag like feminism comes up for you, it is important to find out where on the spectrum the individual resides. It usually doesn’t take more than a few questions to get a general idea on the matter. Here are some useful ones:
What is your experience with feminism?
Who do you view as a role model for feminism?
What positive contributions do you think men have made to the world, and your life in general?
If you get through these questions without a twinge of horror, that’s a pretty good sign.
I especially like the role model one, because I think that really says everything.
If a woman says she is a staunch feminist — but looks up to female role models like Christina Hoff Sommers or Ann Coulter (ok, I know such a woman doesn’t exist — in Canada at least) — then whip out the ring right there bud.
Or someone non ideological, that has great talent and capacity for depth, like Taylor Swift or JK Rowling, can signal that feminism — for her — does not just mean free stuff for women.
And the final question is especially important, because if she doesn’t have a coherent and detailed answer for her appraisal of the value of men…well what is she doing dating — apart from using you as a resource machine?
And, “why do you think that?”; “can you give me an example?”
But this is just the framework that I loosely adhere to. I can’t really help with intangibles like wit, spontaneity, and courage over text. You can look at stuff from Charisma on Command on Youtube for that.
And in the end, there is no substitute for experience and fucking up on your own.
Good luck! I am certainly seeking it. Add your own suggestions and thoughts in the comment section below.