Six Poison-Based Cocktails That Will Make Your Cult’s Final Meeting Its Best One Yet!

Preparing for the Rapture is a stressful experience, and when you’re planning a party to usher in the End of Days, the last thing you want to do is leave a bad impression with people you’re never going to see again.

You might be tempted to fill a couple of trash cans with tainted Flavor Aid and call it a day, but that is sooooo 1978!

Instead, try one (or all) of these killer cocktails that your guests are guaranteed to remember for the rest of their lives.

1. The Freezer Burn

1.5 oz London Dry Gin

8 oz of antifreeze (brake fluid can be substituted if antifreeze is unavailable)

Lime wedge

Fill a highball glass with ice. Add the gin and antifreeze and garnish with a lime.

The antifreeze provides a sweetness that makes it the perfect replacement for tonic water, with the added bonus of a vibrant, almost tropical blue color that will help transport anyone who drinks it to their own personal paradise.

2. The Chernobyl Mule

1.5 oz of vodka

4 oz of ginger beer

.5 oz of lime juice

Radioactive plutonium mug

Fill your mug with ice. We recommend using a vessel constructed with plutonium-239, but any isotope will do in a pinch. Add the vodka and lime before topping off the mixture with ginger beer.

It’ll take a bit longer to feel the effects of this drink compared to the others on the list, so make sure you have plenty of ingredients on hand to keep the drinks flowing and the party going!

3. Disaronno and Cyanide

300 mg of potassium cyanide

2.5 oz Disaronno

Pour the Disarrono over ice in a rocks glass, sprinkle in the cyanide, and stir.

The bitter almond notes of the cyanide perfectly compliment the amaretto base of the Disaronno to create a concoction your guests will wish they could order again and again!

4. The Poison Dart Frog Old Fashioned

1 sugar cube

2 dashes of Angustora Bitters

1 poison dart frog

1.5 oz rye whiskey

Cherry and orange, for garnish

Muddle the poison dart frog with the sugar cube and bitters in the bottom of a rocks glass. Add ice and whiskey and serve with a cherry and orange flag.

It’s the perfect cocktail to sip and savor as your arm grows more and more numb before you inevitably lose the ability to raise the glass to your lips.

5. The Tequila Sunset

5 oz silver tequila

4 oz orange juice

1 oz arsenic

Red food coloring

Gradually add food coloring to the arsenic until it achieves a hue resembling grenadine.

Fill a highball glass with ice before adding the tequila and orange juice. Top off the drink with the dyed arsenic mixture to create a trippy tie-dye effect that’s simply to die for!

6. The Snake Bite

8 oz ale

8 oz hard cider

1 black mamba (or similarly venomous snake)

Combine ale and cider in a pint glass.

Consume and repeat until you become convinced the black mamba is looking at you the wrong way, and you realize the only proper recourse is to punch that cocky snake in the face and teach it a lesson it should have been taught a long time ago.