The ritual of the seven veils
A Taoist method for a deeper intimate life
This blog post is part of a series on our journey through the “Seven Veils of Love.”
After the birth of our son, we embarked on a six-month exploration to rediscover our intimate life, utilizing the Taoist practice of the seven veils.
We both write uncensored, sharing our male and female perspectives on the same journey. We hope you enjoy reading and find inspiration in our experiences.
This article explains the origins of the Seven Veils and provides some insight.
Lynn and Tom
The Seven Veils originate in Taoist and tantric practices. However, the modern term seems to be the creation of Reinoud Eleveld and/or Sanne Burger. Both are Dutch citizens, and most of the literature and posts on the internet are in Dutch. Very little information in English can be found, and for the sake of our series, we want to explain the ritual.
In this article, we will give a short introduction to the practice of the Seven Veils, which we use as a guide in our own journey. This post is based on the works of Sanne & Reinoud, so all credit goes to them; we are mere practitioners.
The ritual of the Seven Veils is an ancient Taoist practice that teaches you how to be fully present during lovemaking. It can be used when you’ve just met someone and are getting to know each other or within an existing relationship to elevate your love life to new levels.
The ritual intends to slow down the phases between the first eye contact and actually having sex. All too often, all stages in the process are handled in a matter of weeks, days, or even hours. The ritual of the Seven Veils defines seven phases. Only when you are fully comfortable in a stage can you progress to another.
Within each phase, there is room for reflection and fully experiencing all emotions of desire, tenderness, lust, but maybe also detachment and a feeling of not wanting to continue.
By slowing down and not forcing anything, your sensitivity will increase, and strong emotions can come up. Past memories can become visible, and while exploring, this can heal wounds from the past or open new pathways.
The full ritual normally takes 6 months, or rather moon phases of 28 days. The seventh veil is only 1 day. You may choose to do it faster, but then it will become less intense and effective.
The process does hold some conditions. Trust is vital, and both partners have to fully engage. You are dedicated to one person and one person only, and you cannot engage in sex with another person nor masturbate, as this would nullify the purpose of the Ritual.
Prioritize the process with your partner and create time. Ideally, you have a daily moment to experience the phase and discuss your feelings and sensations. If not daily, create time at least every two or three days.
End each phase with some sort of ritual, and make sure you feel comfortable. It is also important not to rush. Within each phase, there is plenty of time, so you don’t need to rush into it on day 1.
The Seventh Veil completes the ritual. After that, there are no more prescriptions, and it is up to you!
The First Veil: Hands & Face
In the first stage, you get to enjoy touching hands, face, and hair. Soft kissing is allowed, but not on the mouth. You can hug, but at all times, you remain fully dressed. Eye contact is important, even when in public or other company. Try to find each other’s eyes and look for the spark. Use all your senses: feel, smell, and listen to each other. Tell each other about what you are experiencing.
The Second Veil: Clothes On
In the second veil, you get to explore each other’s bodies, but still fully dressed. You must also avoid genitals and breasts.
You can kiss on the mouth, but don’t use your tongue just yet. Try to feel each other’s bodies with full presence and attention, and keep using all your senses.
The Third Veil: Underneath the clothes
During the third veil, you are still dressed, but you can touch underneath the clothes. Genitals and nipples are still to be avoided.
Kissing is allowed, but still avoid using your tongue. This phase can be very exciting as you can play with desire and arousal.
The goal of the phase is to let go of the compulsive force we tend to experience in lust. This phase will let you experience that it actually is pleasant to remain just here, and you don’t need to go further.
The Fourth Veil: Underwear
In this phase, you can strip down to your underwear. Play with the undressing, strip, and undress each other. You can use your tongue now, and you can touch nipples. Only the genitals remain a no-go. Fully explore the body and play with your passion and arousal.
The Fifth Veil: Taking it further
In the fifth veil, all clothes can come off, and full contact is allowed, including the genitals. The woman can orgasm as much as she wants, but the man has to be patient a bit longer. Make sure that orgasm does not become the goal; it’s optional. The woman can let her excitement flow freely, and this veil can be truly liberating.
The Sixth Veil: Penetration
In the sixth veil, penetration is allowed, but the man is still not allowed to orgasm. Making orgasm not the goal of penetration can be a totally new experience and liberating in itself. The phase has a lot of possibilities and lets you explore and play. Experience how it feels to make love in this way without chasing orgasm.
The Seventh Veil: Ejaculation Inside the Vagina
When fully present at this moment, it’s near to touching the divine. This phase is only one day and represents the peak of the ritual. You can have sex and ejaculate in the vagina. This phase represents full union on a physical level!
After completing the seventh veil, you will have a deeper connection with your lover. Discuss how to continue your love life. Celebrate your newfound joy and connection!
We read the book of Reinoud and the posts of Sanne as inspiration, but we did not follow training or coaching and are not acquainted with either of them.
Please keep reading our series as we go through the stages and share our experiences.
More information can be found on the websites of Reinoud & Sanne:
