Why the Hurry to Heal?
“We live in a world of instant gratification, the world of the quick fix”, Rachael Taylor.
Instant Gratification Energetics.
My phone is dopamine dealer, a portal to get most of what I think I want on its way to me in an instant. We have life on tap. Receiving is sometimes faster than it takes to decide if the thing we think we want is truly what we want. Instant gratification is the energetic basis for modern western culture. Navigating through this material realm from a subconscious need to consume and fill up now. Entrenched in the rush to feed our starving souls through acquiring more things we don’t need and our heart doesn’t actually desire to have but we’ve been convinced through the playing on our distorted beliefs of unworthiness, that somehow having this will make us more worthy.
There is nothing wrong with desiring material possessions and appreciating the beautiful material creations in this physical realm. We are here to have the human experience, part of this is opening to the receiving and appreciation of the gorgeous human made creations made available to us. Luxury and wealth is our birth right! I am consciously now delayering some of the conditioned narratives of scarcity and lack I’ve received deeply embedded within my psyche, to embody the remembrance of this truth. This is still something I am unfolding and opening to.
We all have the ability to manipulate matter, we have energetic relationships with the physical world and everything which is in it. To call these objects and experiences into our lives and claim our abundance is a part of our Divine inheritance. However, it becomes problematic when we make this mean something about who we are at our core. When we use things and experiences to affirm our existence and our sense of worth. When we believe this is what gives us permission to take up space and validates who we are. When the truth is, we are worthy and valid regardless of what is showing up or lacking in our physical worlds.
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished”, Lao Tzu.
These instant gratification energetics go beyond acquiring things but can also be found in our rush to smash goals and what we make it mean about ourselves if we don’t achieve the desired outcome immediately or ever. This undercurrent energy can also be woven in the hurry to heal too. It’s a truly beautiful testament to the evolving of humanity that this generation of humans are turning inwards and committed to working with our wounds. A whole industry has been created on this basis, which I believe reflects our shifting towards humanities and this planets highest timeline. From an ancestral perspective, our lineage will benefit substantially for the healing work we are doing now, as are our ancestors celebrating and receiving the gifts this has to offer. However, there is no rush to heal these wounds.
I honestly believe that as long as we are living in this physical body, we have inner work to do. That the healing journey is not linear and has many layers. As we shift into more spiritually and emotionally mature versions of ourselves, we also meet our healing capacity in more depth. We go deeper. I love the symbolism of this through the story of Yeshua (Jesus) travelling through the desert during the 40 days and 40 nights fasting and his psychological and spiritual battle with Satan tempting him to eat.
Yeshua was a master at manipulating matter, considered by many to be an enlightened being walking this planet. However, even he still experienced the wandering of the desolate desert, the spiritual droughts and soul starvation which come with the human experience. Even he had inner demons to confront and converse with. This time represents for me a period of deep shadow work, paying close attention to those wounds as part of the ongoing healing journey which Yeshua was not exempt from. I feel this is a metaphorical mirror for the continuous journey of healing we face as long as we are living in this human body.
I have been in a rush to heal. I have placed immense amount of pressure on myself to be ‘fixed’ and ‘whole’ for my Daughter to experience having the perfect Mother my younger self naively envisioned I would be as a conscious awakened Mamma. I ached to be completely healed for clients to be able to feel a perfect congruence within me and a deep trust in the energetic and emotional space I hold and facilitate for them. I consumed so much spiritual and psychological content, trying various different spiritual practices hoping that I would somehow become an embodiment of enlightenment. Totally overlooking the truly magical moments happening unintentionally of true awakening. Now I can appreciate my commitment to my journey of healing but with a shift in intention.
Confusing Wounds with Worthiness.
The intention is not to speed through healing to make myself less wounded and become a more worthy Mum, Psychologist/Spiritual guide, or deserving person. It is with the intention of simply becoming more of who I truly am at my core and enjoying the process of getting spiritually naked. Truly being with the uncovering of each layer, tending to each wound, even when it makes me cringe and shrink away with discomfort, shame or fear. I am able to recognise now that my imperfections are also my gift to the world, to my Daughter, to my clients, to those I come into contact with. Because it gives others the permission to tell the truth about their imperfections and where they too are still healing. We get to stand still together in raw, naked, vulnerability and be mirrors to our wounded bodies. We get see a piece of ourselves in each other.
We get to see we are perfect and worthy anyway, wounds, warts and all welcome. We are here for our souls to journey and live out lessons. We are here for the experience, not for some destination we’ve been conditioned to believe affirms our existence. I believe this time here is just a heart beat in comparison to the infinite spaces and places our soul will continue to journey through beyond this life. There really is no pressure to rush or get it right this time round, we’ve just being tricked into believing terrible fates lie ahead of us if we fuck it all up in this lifetime.
I don’t believe it is possible to get this life wrong, neither do I believe we have a judgmental Divine Mother/Father cringing at our human imperfections and the unhealthy ways we attempt to tend to our wounds. We are spiritual beings first, yes, but we are here to have this human experience. We can take our time with our healing, watching closely so we avoid missing the beauty in who we are in the here now. Perfection in our Creators eyes.
Hi, I’m Toni-Anne. A certified Psychologist bridging the gap between Psychology & Spirituality to help us navigate our inner worlds with confidence and compassion. Join my email list for more soulful updates and shares like this https://heartspacewithtonianne.journoportfolio.com/contact/