Noel shares his story today to encourage you that there’s life beyond the abuse.
I needed to show that even boys get abused and it is a whole lot more difficult to share because society keeps trying to rob the masculine gender of emotions.
Noel: I am Noel, and I was sexually abused as a child. This is my story.
Growing up, we had a couple of housekeepers both genders who lived with us and did all the chores while the kids only played and ate all the food so to say. Mum and Dad would usually be at work, kids in school, housekeepers at home or learning a trade somewhere in town. This was the regular routine until school vacations, when all the kids would be home and or when one kid falls ill and has to be treated at home.
My siblings always knew me as a different breed. I always played a lot and yet had the best grades. I disliked females because of what my friends told me when I was in primary school. But deep down, I knew females were okay.
Well, this housekeeper was the 'okay' female. She always had my back with the meals and taking care of me. She always pampered me and I felt 'liked’. It was okay because I was a child, and didn’t know much till someday.
During one school vacation, my siblings were in my neighbors house and I was left at home with Rose and she asked to play hide and seek. I was bored so I needed some fun. I guess I slept off earlier so everyone left me to go play outside. So time to hide and seek. It was fun. She found me severally. The first time I found her, she was naked! I was confused. She said it was okay. I didn’t understand "but you were dressed just a minute ago" I told myself. She eventually drew me into the wardrobe and got on me with a shy smile on her face, she pulled down my shorts and started fondling my privacy. I felt nothing really but she was moaning and even tried putting it in her privacy. This was the Pandora’s Box.
Thereafter, it happened almost regularly whenever no one was around. It almost felt good. But I knew within me it was wrong. It graduated to something worse when a senior boy tried doing the same to me in school when I got I to the hostel. It felt weird because it was a boy and still felt OK because it was the same thing; abuse.
I found myself growing up to like little kids and wanting to extend such 'courtesy' and funny enough, the little girl had already been in such an abusive relationship.
This grew and I was in chains, struggling to leave and tugging with my emotions towards abuse.
BMW Liza: at what age did you realise you were getting abused?
Noel: I was just 5 years and I understood I was being abused.At the time, I didn’t have a name for it.
BMW Liza: how did it affect you as a teenager?
Noel : as a teenager, I always felt insecure about myself and unforgiving as well. I was the one who would cry at night and want to injure myself because I was in some chain I couldn’t get out of on my own and I still didn’t want to share with anyone lest they judge me.
BMW Liza: how did you become this “better you”?
Noel: God saved me from this mess somehow. When I started stepping into Gospel Music, my soul was cleansed and the Word of God which I heard daily renewed my mind, restored my sense of self-worth, took away every suicidal tendency and all. So bottom line, I became better when I asked God to help me.
BMW Liza: what practical steps did you take to achieve results?
Noel: to be truthful, I took several practical steps like talking about my woes to a few persons who I could trust. It only ended up a topic of discussion and judgement. I also stayed away from inciting materials such as porn and the likes. I paid attention and grew my senses to discern young girls and dudes who had tendencies of accepting abuse and shared my experience with them and asked them to choose to walk away from it and be free. Most of them actually turned out better, some didn’t care. But most of all was to ask God to help me. Sincerely, its a more spiritual battle than the physical struggle, so its best to leave it to the greatest Warlord; God. He will equip you with all you need to win.
BMW Liza: your last words to people in the same position.
Noel: pray! Sincerely ask God to set you and make you free! Sincerely! He won’t fail! He has never failed! If you need someone to talk to, he is the best. Humans can only help, when they leave and you are left alone, what then happens? But only God can truly pacify for he will be there even when you are alone. Always remember that every temptation that comes to you is less than your strength. You win always!
Noel’s story is proof that you are not alone. He may sound too spirit conscious for you but that’s where he has found his strength. Don’t let that abuse crush you! whether you’re a man or a woman, it’s okay to be weak. However don’t just stay weak. Seek strength.
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