CFMA #7

CF MA
CF MA
Nov 1 · 4 min read

1.Without disclosing your name / identity, can you give us a sense of where you are currently at with your work?

I’m currently writing an autobiographical novel and a collection of poetry. I write every day, as much as I can, waking up an hour before I need to in order to get some words down. I’ve had a few things published, which is basically as much to do with perseverance as anything else - constantly applying to anything (free!) that could get me published.

2. Is there a self-therapeutic element to what you do?

Definitely — I feel that my writing is therapeutic. Although I think this aspect of my work is intertwined with my work as a whole, I do try to keep the craft separate from the self-therapy in some ways, because I realise that what is helpful to me might not make great reading for everyone!

3. How do you prevent financial pressures from stifling your creative motivation?

I have a standard 9–5. Sometimes this can feel really stifling as it takes a lot of time and energy away from my writing, but I try to be grateful because it provides me with the stability I need to be able to write at all. I stop financial pressure from stifling my creative motivation primarily by daydreaming through my day job. I’m also being paid to write some blog posts at the moment, and being paid to do something I love motivates me.

4. What is your relationship like with social media and advertising? What, if anything, works for you?

I use social media to advertise my blog, but only in terms of posting my latest blog up on Facebook or Instagram. I’m not great at self-advertising but I’m trying to put myself out there a bit more.

5. How do you plan your day/ week/ future work? What, if anything, works for you?

Every day I wake up on time to get some writing done. I write in my lunch break. And then I write when I get in. And I plan future work by looking at competitions and submissions slots I think I might be a good fit for and building a sort of calendar.

6. Have you benefited from support from mentors/ a community? If so, can you tell us a bit about this, and how it has helped you?

The writing community is thriving! And I benefit every time I go to a workshop - at the moment I’m particularly finding workshops for women of colour quite helpful.

7. What is the best piece of creative career advice you have ever received?

Write the book you wish you could have read. I learned this at a class for queer women of colour and it stuck with me. I always try to write the book or poem that would have helped me at some point in my past.

8. Can you talk a bit about your journey with ego and creative confidence?

I struggle with keeping confidence in my creative work. When it’s just me… when I’m alone with a page or a screen, I’m pretty confident. I realise the words are mine to use and I’m happy to experiment. Then when it comes to sharing that work it can be difficult because I put a lot of myself into my experiments. But I think of it the same way I think of open mics. Before reading, I always feel nervous, shaky even. But as I read I feel calm, steady. I go back to nervous shakiness straight afterwards, but for the moments I’m up on stage, I am fine. So this is how I try to think about my work. I’m scared to share it, but at some point it’s out there… and that’s fine.

9. Can you speak about a hard time you went through, or ongoing difficulties you face, and how you cope/d? What advice would you give to your past self?

I think the hardest time I went through was studying for my MA in Literature. The academic community was both enriching and cliquey / stifling and I didn’t really feel like I had someone to turn to. A lot of people turned away from me, which was hurtful. I had several episodes that led to hospitalisation, and I blanked out creatively. I was so obsessed with getting the work done that I forgot to look after myself, or to give myself space to breathe and create.

The advice I would give my past self is actually some great advice once given to me by a friend: “you are different to other people. Sometimes you are going to feel crap, or high, for no reason- and that’s just how you are. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

10. Can you talk us through your ‘mental health toolkit’? What do you find helpful (eg. exercise, medication, books, therapy, breathing exercises, helplines etc etc)?

Writing, reading and running are high on my list for self-therapy. These things allow me space to just be myself. I’ve also had psychotherapy & counselling, and I take two medications daily to keep me stable. I once heard of someone saying “I feel like I traded my life for stability”, but I don’t feel that way anymore. I feel like the things I do to remain stable are the same things that allow me to keep living, to keep creating, to keep being me.

CF MA

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CF MA

Anonymous interviews with artists from all disciplines about mental health and creative work

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