I become disillusioned in my work, unmotivated and dreary. I procrastinate by looking at colleges. Looking at the programs they offer and where they are located and how the campus is and what the surrounding towns are like. Then, I look at the cost. I look at the admissions forms and paperwork to get in. I see this wall building ever so slowly in front of me. I become disheartened and look back at my current grade 12 work. I do perhaps ten maybe even twenty minutes worth of work. Then, like I always do, become saddened at how things are. I think of how I don’t want to be doing this work, but to live an independent “adult” life instead. But, will that solve my problem of self pity and search for something to make me happy and grown-up? Most likely not.