Astronomy and Grief Counseling
Our story is set at Greendale Community College, where a team devoted to saving it braces for destruction…
Around Table Mark II sit Jeff Winger, Britta Perry, Annie Edison, Abed Nadir, and Shirley Bennett. All hold still rather solemnly.
The room is furnished exactly how you last saw it. The white board hangs on the wall. The couch is in the corner and there are a number of bookshelves. There are doors to the north and south, though they are locked due to the current riots. There is also an air vent.
Fade in. All are sitting around the table in awkward silence.
Jeff stands and clears his throat…
Jeff: “Hey, I know things seem pretty dark right now, but sitting here feeling sorry about ourselves doesn’t help anything. Besides, are we completely sure this is actually happening? Seems a bit too much like the plot of a bad sci-fi movie.”
The group turns toward Abed.
Abed: “Are you addressing me with this? Just because I was prepared for this scenario doesn’t mean I’m contriving some sort of plot to give us closure. I had no idea this would turn out to be the darkest timeline.”
Annie: “Are you sure about that Abed? You mentioned something to me about an asteroid just after we saved Greendale.”
Abed: “I was simply stating that being wiped out by an asteroid was the only reason we wouldn’t be back here together. I was caught up in the moment.”
Shirley: “So you aren’t leading us through some twisted apocalyptic story where God is raining down his fury on all of you?”
Britta: “Seriously you guys? You are trying to pin this on Abed? You know he hates endings like this. It looks to me like we’re working through some grief here!”
Jeff: “Don’t be all therapist on us again Britta, none of us want to hear that right now.”
Abed: “Britta actually has a point here.”
Annie: “NO, but she’s not making any sense! How could this be happening? How could we let this happen?”
Britta: “’WE’ didn’t let anything happen Annie! It is not our faults! We can not blame ourselves for this utter failure on the parts our “superiors.” They could have stopped this. Their ineptitude condemned our existence!”
Jeff: “I actually do agree with Britta. How could this not have been prepared for? There should have been a plan to deal with a scenario like this. It just doesn’t make any sense.”
Shirley: “I’ll make their ass sense.”
Annie: “Whoa wait a second guys. Getting riled up like this without a plan of attack is useless. We’ve got to pull together and consider all of our options here. Remember that diorama when we…”
Jeff: “Stop. Don’t you realize it yet Annie? We aren’t going to get anywhere. It’s hopeless.”
Shirley: “Oh our Lord Jesus!”
Abed: “Isn’t it possible we’ll continue in a higher realm? Like how Netflix continued Arrested Development?”
Jeff: “Sure Abed, just like that. Let’s all remain clawing at the belief that some magical savior is going allow us to continue our stories.”
Annie: “No need to be so sarcastic about it Jeff. You are telling me that you really don’t see any chance of surviving this?”
Jeff: “Okay, maybe I am being a bit pessimistic. I just don’t want to get hopes up only to have them crushed.”
Shirley: “Our Lord helped save Greendale once.”
Jeff: “Really Shirley? So all the work we all did was actually the work of the Lord?”
Shirley: “Well Jeff that IS how it works.”
Jeff: “Oh OK, Well, if the almighty has nothing better to do than to save Greendale, then working through us sounds about right.”
As Jeff speaks explosions are heard. Quickly the room quiets.
Annie: “Well then, unless we hear otherwise, I guess this really is the end.”
Abed: “And I really thought we were safe this year.”
The group sits in a sad silence. Annie starts to sob.
Britta: “GUYS. Don’t you realize we’ve gone through the four stages of grief? We’ve hit depression.”
Annie: “Uh, Britta, there are five stages of grief.”
Britta: “Oh really Annie, so your a psych major now? If you’re so smart what’s the fifth one then?”
Silence falls upon the room for a moment.
Britta: “Oh. I guess I never got that far.”
Another silence captures the room for a moment.
Jeff: “But I think we have gotten that far.”
Abed: “Cue Winger speech to take us through.”
Jeff: “Time and time again we have moved through stages of grief, angry at the system, bargaining to get what we want, and somehow, through everything, we’ve always come out on top. We’ve been prepared for the curtains to close on us for years now. Yes, this may be the end, but it may not. The stories we’ve made together will always live on, whether we are saved and placed in a magical realm or are destroyed by things we can’t control, we’ll always have our time here at Greendale. We shouldn’t spend any more of our existence here, contemplating our future. We just need to accept that whatever happens happens. And if my story is ending… well…”
Jeff: “At least it was here.”