Co-Parenting Having a Personality Disorder
Personality Disorder: “An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that differs markedly from your expectations on the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, comes with an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and causes distress or impairment. Personality disorders really are a long-standing and maladaptive pattern of perceiving and responding to other folks and to stressful circumstances.” — Diagnostic and Statistical Manual with the American Psychiatric Association, Fourth Edition
Often times I’ve got heard it’s impossible to co-parent using an ex that has a personality disorder. I will grant you that it is difficult but it’s possible. I’ve got learned this the tough way. I can’t inform you how often I’ve hung my head and thought, “I hardly understand why performing this.” Then, I learned.
It wasn’t a point of slapping a label on the he was,. It absolutely was dependent on understanding why performing what performing. That meant taking a trip through his history to genuinely “get it”.
Attention seeking is probably the many conditions that I cope with in relation to my ex. If somebody gets sick, he gets sicker; when something bad transpires with someone, it’s all about him and how it affects him; and, should there be nothing taking place in somebody else’s life he can prey off, he wears clothing with holes with them or pretends to get sick so men and women have sympathy for him. Poor poor him. So why does he practice it? The answer is simple. It’s within his history.
Maturing in a very category of ten children couldn’t are actually easy. Finding the attention he craved and needed during a vacation have to have been extremely difficult. His father worked three jobs that will put food revealed and his awesome mother was busy looking after the requirements of young children so he previously had to find away out to obtain the attention a child so greatly deserved. In order to get the eye that she craved, he began to create situations where he may get the eye he needed plus the acting skills so as to get people to believe it. This pattern of behavior carried in to his adult life.
Back in the day I stood back and looked at this that we did start to know what drives him to require attention and that managed to get much easier to handle. I finished thinking, “Why does he try this?” and commenced thinking, “I understand.” With this particular new perspective, it became simpler to cope with him since i had sympathy. I became capable of remove conflict and empower our youngsters to deal with an attention seeker.