On Writer’s Block
Has anyone had the problem of wanting to write but not having any clue of what to write about? I seem to have been in this rut for years now. I used to be a songwriter. All through high school and college I would write constantly. It was something that felt natural. Though, after completing college I fell into this rut. I couldn’t put pen to paper and when I was able to muster up the energy and courage to do so I was met with crushing anxiety or just a blank mind.
I asked myself why I couldn’t do it anymore. I use to think that it was a phase of writer’s block and that, at some point I would find a way out of it naturally. That was in 2010. Today I still have the anxiety and blankness. I feel itchy and unsettled in my mind. I have a decent job, an amazing fiancée and I wonderful support system of friends and family, and I thought that’s what was needed — you know, the whole Maslow Theory of needs type thing —yet I am still stuck in this rut.
I’ve tried to find countless of writing of prompts, all of which felt too forced and unrelatable. I’ve dumped a lot of money (relatively) into different writing apps and systems for organizing thought and ideas. None of them seemed to work for me. Yet my urge to write is still strong. Maybe I am thinking too much about what I am writing about instead of just putting words on paper.
Maybe I am my own writer’s block. What if the issue is not that I can’t write but, rather, I won’t let myself write? The validation of what I do should come from me. Instead, maybe I rely on others for the validation of my actions or my ideas.
To break through this “block” I need to be deliberate in my efforts to take back control of my permissions. The only way I can think of doing that is not tell anyone what I plan to do.