I was raised to be a corporate executive

I was raised as a child of Baby Boomers. My experience was different from most Millennials. I did not get the constant praise or the participation ribbon. I distinctly remember coming in 5th place at a spelling bee and coming in 2nd place in a science fair, and my parents did not do the work for me either.

While the prevailing theme is that boomer parents try to reverse their childhood and provide something more positive for their kids, that theme did not hold true for me. My parents focused on the tough love approach instead. They were both driven by their careers. I benefited in some ways; we all had nice things and never felt the tug of trying to make ends meet. The endevors I pursued in life that led to similar goals were supported, but my more ambitious and ambiguous ones not as much. I rarely got rides to theatre or choir rehearsals, I did not get time to jam in the garage, and I rarely had anyone in attendance at my football games. I was encouraged to work after school, however, and pay my car insurance and other expenses with that income.

Dreams of being a rock star or football hero were quickly replaced with visions of being a VP or CEO

I don’t disclose this to earn any sort of sympathy. In fact, I’m glad I was raised this way. I have been consistently ahead of my peers in being able to take care of myself and manage my own way. In addition, this instilled in me a desire for a high-powered career. Dreams of being a rock star or football hero were quickly replaced with visions of being a VP or CEO. I wanted to run the show and work day and night to get there.

As I stepped into the corporate workforce at the age of 19, I was married to this path. I had twinges of rebellion where I wanted to have fun and enjoy my youth, but I would always find myself back on the same path. My friends and I were at odds, as they were still in the “explore” phase that every buzzfeed article tells my generation to tackle with vigor. I saw past all that. I wanted money and power and I dignified that by thinking that I would use that power to make a difference. Despite my hardened view, I had glimmers of my youthful exuberance.

I was in an old school culture with a new school attitude.

This became a barrier eventually, as I had worked hard enough that I felt entitled to be moving up quicker than I was. I was in an old school culture with a new school attitude. I wanted the quick change and fast decisions that I had read about in startup and agency culture. Instead, I was mired in a highly-regulated and antiquated industry, feeling more trapped every day.

My frustration grew, and the vigor I attacked each day with began to wane. I knew I could half-ass my way through my tasks and I wanted more autonomy and responsibilty to prove myself. Unfortunately, most of those opportunities come when one has proven himself to be an absolute master at his given tasks. I did not see it that way and worked myself into a loop.

Finally, I was given the chance after I graduated (working full time and going to school full time), being offered a job in the sportswear industry as a digital producer. I attacked this job with a renewed vigor, discovering the digital landscape in which I can thrive. But something else had happened in between this career change. Something that would begin to fundamentally alter my set of values in life.

I started a family

The year before I graduated, I got married and had my daughter. Suddenly, I was faced with a reality that I had “planned” for myself almost a decade later than it was actually happening. Many people use parenthood as a time to become more focused on their careers and focus. My experience with parenthood had a different effect. I began to scoff at some of the expectations of the workplace. Today you must be constantly available, ready to react at a moment’s notice to a fire.

I considered those times that I looked to the seats in the audience and saw all the other parents except my own.

I understand this and I accept it, to an extent. As I considered what it would take to be an executive, I also considered my children and how it would affect them. I started running through my childhood, remembering my time as a latchkey kid. I recalled those days I was tugging on the collar of my parents, begging for attention while they worked all night. I considered those times that I looked to the seats in the audience and saw all the other parents except my own.

I still have a big focus on my career. I am willing to work long hours and weekends when needed for a big deliverable or a launch. I’m lucky to have my wife staying at home right now to give me that flexibility. But I refuse to accept that lifestyle constantly, and not just because I want to be home to see my kids before they go to sleep.

Ideation is what the client pays for, isn’t it?