My 1 year “paternity leave” experience.

Corey Zant
Jul 20, 2017 · 3 min read

There’s this Facebook group for real estate agents I’m apart of. Don’t be mistaken — I’m not really on there for the ill-advice it gives. I parallel my association with this group like going to the zoo. I’m there for entertainment. This group — it’s like the Occupy Wall Street of Real Estate…

But one lady, she had a great question. “How do you handle family time? My kids always hate when I leave early in the mornings and beg me to come home earlier to spend time with me. They want to do things on the weekends, but that’s when I have the most showings. I’m considering hiring an assistant, but not sure I could afford it yet. Thoughts?”

I was genuinely interested. I’ve seen some repulsive advice on how to handle clients in this group, but my now curiosity was peaked. How are these rats going to respond on how to treat their family?

Boy. This response took the cake.

The leader of the group suggested loading up the family in the car, and driving to a bad part of town. Point out a dilapidated house, and ask the kids, “Is that what you want to live in?” Ask them, “Do you want to trade your pool, your Xbox, your own bedroom, and live here?”

I can only imagine the kids tearing up at this point.

The leader of the group then suggested to say, “If you want to keep our nice house… if you don’t want to share your bedroom with your sister… if you want a house with a pool… and a Xbox… and you don’t want to live on this side of town — then mommy has to work long hours and on weekends, k?”

A part of me feels bad for the group. They’re taking the advice of vile people — with no sense of family or relationships. They take it as gospel. Why? Because these “advice givers” are top producers. “Money-magnets”. They are the beacon of success for those in real estate.

I reflected on my time out of the office. Once my boys were born June 2016 I took off a whole year from the office. Sure, I helped a few people with their real estate needs, but I was working from my home office.

In “Occupy Wall Street of Realtor” terms, of course my production sank. My gross commission was considerably lower than my previous year.

But no amount of commission would ever replace those precious moments I saw in my first year of being a father.

I got to see Theodore and Benjamin’s first smile.

Their first laugh.

Their first steps.

Their first words — which was “daad”, by the way…despite what my wife says ;)

I have no regrets staying home and witnessing those beloved moments.

Sometimes I feel we focus too much on money. And don’t get me wrong, I desire money as much as any red-blooded American. Money gives me the things I want and need. It provides for my family.

But when people suggest hyper focusing on money so much you neglect your own children — to even go to lengths to frighten them into believing the neglect is justified — there’s obviously a problem.

I love working in real estate. But let’s face it — the lust for money — the greed — it’s stained the industry reputation. Gurus preach to steamroll clients. “Leaders” preach to neglect our own children to make more money.

No amount of money in the world could ever replace the joy I’ve had with my kids.

Now that I’m full time in the office again, business is picking back up. Yes, “production is better”.

But I always make it a point to go home for lunch and witness the damage the of the “twin-nado” (and get in a few hugs too). Benjamin is getting to where he points at me and goes, “Da-daaaaa! Da-daaaa! Da-daaaa!”. Theodore loves to call me “Dat! Dat! Dat!”. And I’ve got a 95% success rate of finishing work and getting home before they go to bed at night.

There’s a lot more important things than commission. Family and relationships have to be at the top. I’m okay with “less production” if it means prioritizing relationships and family first.

This world — life in general — is void and meaningless without relationships and family.

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Corey Zant

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The trick to writing interesting real estate related content is to not write about real estate at all.

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