Lost That Feeling…Again
It’s so amazing how it can burn so strongly, then dissipate as if it wasn’t even there in the first place. I of course refer to that raging inferno, or as I sit and write this, that ever-dimming flicker, of motivation. It’s such a roller coaster. There are days, weeks, and sometimes just fleeting moments when it’s balls to the wall and nothing can stand in your way. The heat from the fire of motivation seems like it will heat your passions for the rest of your days. Then, just like that, the flames can be doused and for seemingly no apparent reason at all. It is one of the most frustrating and confusing experiences of my life (aside from puberty…that was a total mind fuck.) I have so many passions ranging from education, to writing, to performing, to being immersed in nature, to reading, to operating my new start up cabin rental business in the Poconos, to being a father, a husband, a good friend, and the list goes on! How can I stay motivated when so much is on my brain and so much happens in life each and every day? I’m not sure I have the answers. Quite honestly, I am almost convinced that I don’t have the answers and more than likely never will. But maybe, just maybe, it’s not about the answers. Maybe it’s just about sucking it up and dealing with it. Maybe it all boils down to simply pushing through the low moments and staying committed, even when the practicality meter stands at zero and outside forces are clearly putting up the apparently impenetrable wall of “give it up, this is not for you.” I have fallen short on many endeavors in life. I have half started things and never finished. I have gone balls to the wall and given it everything and still fallen short of the goal. I have not even tried at times because of the aforementioned barriers and thought processes. With all this, how can one actually stay motivated and committed, especially when all signs point to yet another fall out?
Motivation is indeed like a fire. Like any fire, it cannot rage long without a little help. Even a gigantic bon fire will eventually dwindle to nothing but a few embers, and soon after that, nothing but smoke, and finally, nothing but ashes. We have to be conscious of this and fuel our fire when necessary. To keep a fire going, sometimes it just requires a little poke. Other times it requires logs to be moved around within the fire itself. Still other times it might necessitate fresh logs and new pieces of wood to be added in order to build up the flames. On a windy day and wet day, you might even need some type of liquid fuel to get things going. This is a tremendous metaphor for motivation in life and purusing what truly makes us happy.
Nothing comes easy (at least the things that are worth it don’t), especially the drive to keep on pushing when you really don’t want to. In times such as these you MUST fan the flames. How can you “add fuel to the fire”? Does watching an inspirational video help to poke your fire and stoke the flames once more? Is there a song that adds a log or two? Is there a person in your life whose presence adds the gasoline and makes your flames of motivation soar higher than ever? Or do you maybe have to just rearrange the logs that are currently on the fire to get things going again? Whatever it is or who it may be, cling to it. Stay close to it. Keep it in your life and on your mind. Immerse yourself in it and focus on it. The glow of a fire dims as it burns out. It is easy to notice, just like we can all sense when our motivational gas tank is running on empty. So, simply put, fill the fucking tank. Go somewhere, do something, read something (like a post on medium), call someone, watch something, listen to something, visualize something, ANYTHING that will increase the strength of a fire that was sparked for a greater and significant purpose.
I think that’s why it hurts so much and causes so much dismay when we start to lose it. We have passion, we know and feel that something is right for us, but then doubt, hardship, and road blocks rear their ugly head and it all chips away at the facade until the entire thing is in danger of crumbling. But that pain, heartache, and downright depression that sets in because of this lack of motivation should be proof enough that there was and still is a distinct and divine purpose for what you started in the first place. After all, you wouldn’t feel that way if you didn’t give a shit about what you started, am I right?
Relish in that thought for a moment. As down as you might be about the uncertainty of things or the current drag you are experiencing, all that really means and points to is the fact that you CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU STARTED. That in and of itself might be just the thought you need to start fanning the flames.
If it’s in your head, and more importantly in your heart, put faith in it and just fucking do it! Put faith in the fact that you started it for a reason. Detach from outcomes and results and keep pushing, and do whatever you need to do to turn that last flicker of hope into a raging inferno for all to see. You never know who around you might be lingering in their own darkness. Even the smallest flicker of light off in the distance can bare witness for those people, especially if the light begins to grow and shine brighter with time.
In the end it’s not just about your fire, it’s about being a light to others who will come after you. Fan your flames, stoke your fire, and burn brightly my friends. Shine on for all the world to see. You might be surprised and even humbled to see that your fire is actually the log that someone else needed to spark their inferno.
