7 BigCo Anti-patterns — white collars doing it wrong

Awesome corporate clipart from geralt.

To wrap up this little run of Thriving in BigCo’s posts, here’s a quick listing of seven, often sad and unhelpful bad practices I’ve noticed people and large organizations doing. Try to avoid them.

  1. Sad bag of slides — you see a person uses the same basic slides in their presentations over and over again, trying to argue for the same point each time they get an audience. They may put together new pitches, slightly masked, but you end up seeing those same old stuff. At some point, you can time how long it will take this person to suggest their idea, pull out their sad slides and go for it.
  2. No free coffee — the company doesn’t even understand the basics of the culture they want, e.g., software developers need free coffee and will be more prone to leave. Cf. “penny-wise, pound foolish.”
  3. Strategy by gratuitous differentiation — thinking that the way to compete is to do something your competitors don’t do…without understanding why they don’t do it. For example, back in the “what do we do about cloud?!” days (~2010–2014 for the first wave) many large IT vendors would want to compete with Amazon’s cloud services by being “more enterprise.” Instead of just jumping in the first blue-cloud-ocean you find, you need to carefully understand why Amazon may not do these “enterprise” things, e.g., they cost a lot more and kill margin.
  4. “What, you don’t like money?” — despite a business throwing off a lot of cash, you don’t want to acquire it. Like worrying about buying an otherwise successful software company because they have a large mainframe business…a business that generates good revenue at large margins with a captive market, so you should keep it and run it if you like money.
  5. 40/4 = 10, or, “4-up” — to reduce the number of slides in a presentation, you put the content of four slides on one. This “reduces” your 40 slide presentation to just 10 slides!
  6. Pay people to ignore them — BigCo’s love hiring new employees, paying them well, and then rarely listening to them. Instead, you hire outsiders and consultants who say similar things, but are listened to. In fact, the first task of any good management consultant team is to go interview all those bright, but ignored, employees you have and ask them what they’d do. The lesson is to track how many ideas come internally vs. externally and, rather than just blame your people for low internal idea generation, ask yourself if you’re just not listening.
  7. Death by Sync — the price of communication is high and you have to be judicious about how far in debt you go. Instead of doing this, most companies spend lots of time “syncing” with other groups and people in the company rather than just doing things. Part of what upper management needs to do is establish a culture and processes that prevent death-by-sync. Also known as “hanging yourself with pre-wire.”

And, if you missed them, here are the longer ones: