I took this photo BUT YOU CAN DEFINITELY USE IT.

Windows Millennium Sucked

And so do me.

Me. Me. Me. Me. You. No — not you — Me. I’m twenty six. I don’t have a job nor do I work. I am the ever consuming, always fornicating, never reproducing or producing great being of the universe. I speak only one language and not well. My grammar? Fuck your grammar. I talk in 140 characters when I can actually get that far. I steal your television from my computer. I avoid the sun and walk with my eyes on the pavement when I actually walk somewhere. I’m a vegan but I will definitely enjoy some ribs when you aren’t looking. And you never are.

I’m tall, white, I went to a private university and I’m dating an asian. I don’t respect you for working 40 years in the same job. I listen to NPR but I sure as hell don’t donate to it. I’m not funny or smart or beautiful. I don’t go to Fight Clubs and I don’t even read the things I write. Describing me as lazy would be the understatement of the year. No, the decade. No, the century. No, the millennium. And you won’t read this because it doesn’t even exist.