Best Ways to Build a Stronger Relationship After Getting Your Ex Back

Couplescounselingpro
3 min readAug 28, 2024

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When I got back together with my ex, I quickly realized that rekindling the flame was only half the battle; building a stronger relationship was the real challenge. I found myself reflecting on our past missteps and how essential open communication would be for us moving forward. It wasn’t just about avoiding the same mistakes, but also about setting fresh goals that could redefine our connection. As I navigated these waters, I stumbled upon some surprising insights that changed everything for us, and I can’t wait to share them.

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Open Communication Channels

When I got back together with my ex, I quickly realized that open communication was the key to rebuilding our relationship. It wasn’t just about talking more; it was about being honest and vulnerable.

I remember one night, sitting on the couch, and we just started sharing how we felt about everything — our past mistakes, our hopes, and what we both wanted moving forward. It felt liberating.

We set aside time each week to check in with each other. I’d ask how she felt about certain things, and she’d do the same. It was surprising how much I didn’t know about her feelings, even after all we’d been through.

I learned that listening is just as important as talking, and I really focused on being present during our conversations.

Whenever misunderstandings popped up, we tackled them head-on instead of letting them fester. I found that a simple “Can we talk about this?” worked wonders.

Set New Relationship Goals

After we established open communication, it became clear that setting new relationship goals was the next step. I remember sitting down with my ex, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. We wanted to avoid falling back into old patterns, so we decided to create some new, realistic goals together.

We each took a moment to share what we wanted from our relationship this time around. For me, it was important to prioritize quality time — no phones, no distractions. I suggested we plan a monthly date night, where we could explore new restaurants and reconnect.

My ex had some great ideas, too; she wanted us to work on being more supportive of each other’s individual goals. We both agreed that being each other’s cheerleaders would strengthen our bond.

It felt so good to see our visions aligning, and it was a refreshing change to be on the same page. Setting these goals wasn’t just about avoiding past mistakes; it was about actively building a future we both wanted.

It gave us a sense of purpose and excitement, making our relationship feel even more meaningful.

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Focus on Trust Building

Building trust again felt like stepping onto unsteady ground, but I knew it was essential for our renewed relationship. After everything we went through, I realized trust wasn’t just a given; it needed to be rebuilt, brick by brick.

I started by being transparent about my feelings. I’d share my day-to-day experiences, and in turn, I encouraged my ex to do the same. Opening up created this little bubble of safety between us.

I also made it a point to keep my promises. If I said I’d be somewhere at a certain time, I was there — no excuses. It’s funny how something so simple can speak volumes. I remember one Friday night when we planned a dinner. I showed up early, and that little gesture meant the world to both of us.

But it wasn’t just about the big moments; it was in the small things too — like listening without judgment when we discussed our past mistakes. It took patience, but with each shared moment, I felt us grow stronger.

Trust, I learned, flourishes in honesty and consistency, and I was all in for the journey.

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