I want to share with you some very helpful insight that I picked up from a German friend of mine. I had asked him for his advice on a communication challenge that I frequently encounter here in Germany. The core of the issue is this misunderstanding when someone says, “wenn du lust hast …”
It’s basically an indirect request. And as my friend pointed out, it’s a way to avoid sounding as if you’re are ordering or commanding someone to do something. My challenge with it, is that it leaves me confused. I’m not 100% sure if I need to drop what I’m doing and go execute. Or worse, if they genuinely want me to do it.
When you say, “Lust haben …” it means that you feel like. Kinda like, “do you felt like doing,” {something}. I also sense that it doesn’t come with concrete conviction. My thought on how to fix this barrier in communication was to inform those around me that they should feel free to tell me what I should do for them. “Hey, Phil. Move that box over there.” Much direct and easier to interpret. Unlike, Hey, Phil. If you feel moving that box to that place…” or worse, “Hey, Phil. If you would like, you [can] move that box to that place.”
My friend’s advice, on the other hand, suggest that I ask when the task or offer is supposed to be executed on. Brilliant! Now I know the time scope for the task/offer. And I’m also still at liberty to assume whether it’s a ready need to do that task. That is, to differentiate from an informal request and an invitation to partake.
Language isn’t the hard part. The understanding of the cultural context was missing. It’s often an important element when communicating with other people who speak a foreign language to you.
Take for example this one time I was stranded with a battle buddy in some small regional train station in the Czech Republic. This was in 2009, when I didn’t have a need to speak German, and I also didn’t know the word GeldAutomat which is German for what in America we would call an ATM [Automated ‘Bank’-Teller Machine]. It was also a first-time experience in this kind of situation and had not formal strategy that I could apply in order to communicate the request.
I took my bank card, a coaster and proceeded to do that following:
- I mimicked a credit card vertical slide on the side of the coaster holder.
- Then, raise the coaster and slid a single coaster under the raised holder.
Revealing the single coaster in the direction of whom I trying to communicate this to, placed that individual in the situation which I wanted to soon be in. And the light bulb light up and our newly made Czech friend said, “Money Machine”
I hope that these two examples also illuminates how we ought to be conscious of the time and effort we put into communicating with one another. Because time is a resource that can no be renewed. To me that means that the most disrespectful thing that I can do with you is waste your time. I don’t want to waste my time, and you can waste yours, but I’ll to not be responsible for it.
Lesson learned 1997 when I took heed to the wise words of the GZA Make it brief Son, half short and twice strong
