To be honest, I starting reading your post until it soon dawned that all I was getting was all the…
Rick Fischer

Biology is not as simple as you make it out to be. I’d be curious to know your thoughts on these articles and how they fit in with your mental model.

“When I read all the ways the author was offended by innocent remarks, I don’t see how anyone can avoid unintended offenses.

I agree that it’s impossible to avoid unintended offenses. My takeaway is that one should make an effort to be aware of the fact that some people have different preferred gender pronouns and consider changing one’s language to make others feel more welcome. Now that you have this knowledge, you can either choose to actively ignore it or do integrate it into your mental model of the world.

“The people around Escobar must be walking on eggshells.”

I don’t recall stories of Escobar verbally attacking people or bursting out into tears every time they make a mistake, so I wonder why you think people would be walking on eggshells. More likely, they are simply unaware of how Sam feels when they make a mistake, or are gently corrected. Why would anyone remain friends with someone who explodes at them regularly for making honest mistakes?

“That and all the ways you want them to change how they interact, how they talk, how they view other people, how they should reeducate themselves to better accommodate your feelings.”

It is always the majority of people who need to reeducate themselves to better accommodate the feelings of others when there is a cultural shift. Why is it bad to consider the feelings of others when communicating? The fact is that people are incredibly diverse, and you can either choose to be open and learn about different walks of life, or you can refuse to learn or change anything about yourself. What if you moved to live in an entirely different culture? Would you want them to consider anything about your culture and values when communicating with you even though you’re in the minority? Or would you feel that it is fair that you would be potentially discriminated against openly and called by words that make you feel uncomfortable? Does being in the minority really mean that it is not reasonable to ever ask that others attempt to be aware of and accommodate your feelings?

“Doesn’t it follow, then, that no one can have a gender until they decide what gender they want?

I do think this follows!

“Babies are “it” until they are old enough to decide.

I don’t think it’s sensible to call a baby “it” since it makes a whole lot more sense to refer to your child by their apparent sex at birth. Have you actually seen someone suggest this?

This sounds exactly the same to me as naming your child something and that child deciding they would rather be called something else once they are older. There is no good reason you wouldn’t name your child just in case they wouldn’t actually want to be called that name sometime later in life. There is no good reason your child would be offended that you did up to that point once they decided how they wanted to be referred to (well, unless you named something blatantly offensive, perhaps)

“Raising them as a girl or a boy is a presumption.”

Before I ever knew anything about gender diversity it was always important to me to not thrust gender-expectations on my children. It seems unwise to me to pigeon hole my child at a young age into a laundry list of problematic gender stereotypes.

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