A guy a used to know:

I’m just a homophobe, what’s wrong with that? ☹

My opinion: Just seems an understatement. (Yes, he really did have the sad face and I don’t know why.)

An old lady in the vicinity (on a gay talent contest featuring attractive young men):

Look at these men with their attractive faces and (impressively huge body parts, if you know what I mean), why will they waste all that?

My opinion: How are toned abs and a pretty face a loss if there are other men who have the hots for such beefiness?

Teenage boys within 5 feet of my hearing range:

Ugly. Stupid. Gay. (Used as derogatory slams)

My opinion: Well these are twelve-year-olds trapped within the bodies of 14-year-old teens. They don’t know what they’re saying. (Hopefully!).

Overly insensitive religious folks:

This is a sin committed against the natural course of the universe!

My opinion: Salt, (in Filipino) is “asin”.