the plan, the magic one and the league of the affected

here i go again, feeling like a shitty person. i just wish i hadn’t reacted so strongly. i’m very sorry. i don’t know what’s wrong with me.

i try not to let the things people say get to me, but, well… i just feel like a worthless human being in a lot of ways now.

i just hope your opinion of me is your own.

i’m still terrified, still in immense pain, but at least i can look back upon those memories, cherish them, though their distance hurts.

i see you in the stars, hear your voice on the night air, feel your comforting touch in the wind that sweeps over me.

i miss you so much. but i really just want you to be happy. you deserve so much happiness. i never want to interfere with that. all i ever wanted to do was give you the world.

i wanted our lives to be magic.

now, well, i’m trying to distance myself from my friends, if you can call them that. most of them, anyways. yet i’m still plagued by a need for someone to talk to.

tomorrow i might be able to do something that might change some parts of my life. i can hope.

i remember everything so vividly, everything that’s happened. rain drops on car windows, memories running down panes of glass, fingers pressed white against the weight of thousands of emotions.

“keep killing people in the name of vengeance, and someday you’re gonna reap what you sow, starfighter.”

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