the taste of lungs, or the lies that starfighter embraced
every day, i try my hardest to be the best human being i possibly can. every day, i try my hardest not to let the sadness cripple me. and every day, what do i do? i fail. the sadness is too much for me to bear. life has no worth. every day is just another stretch of time wasted; purposeless. there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to have my life feel meaningful again.
everyone experiences things differently. i’ve done everything i can for myself. i’m a bigger person now, devoid of perhaps a few of my nastier qualities. but for me, well, the only thing left that will help me is to be able to help other people. there’s no one left for me to trust. so many people, they call themselves my friends, but all i want is to be rid of them. they lie and waste and ruin.
probably all i will ever want is a chance to prove to you that i am a better person now.
all i hear from everyone lately is what a shitty person i am.
so who knows.
a quiet death would have been preferable to a miserable life.