Abraham Lincoln’s Way Of Handling People He Didn’t Like

Most people aren’t pure evil. But they absolutely do exist.
Most groups and communities aren’t pure evil, but they too, absolutely do exist.
For the sake of this short point, let’s consider evil people and evil groups to be outliers for the moment.
Instead, let’s talk about how we can improve our day to day interactions with people we don’t like.
You’re human. You don’t have to “like” everyone. And yet, you do have to interact with people you don’t like too, often regularly in places like work and in the local groups you participate in.
You can certainly try to avoid them. But that’s not always possible… or best is it?
You can fight them. You can try to sway them, guide them, or teach them. You can throw up your hands and judge them. How often does that work for you?
Harsh judgment and emotional responses often punish the user way more than the subjects of the scrutiny. Think on this when you observe your own actions or the actions of others.
Who gets more riled up, and stays more riled up, in a traffic jam? The person yelling at everyone or the people being yelled at?
And how about the co-worker who always has an opinion on everyone and everything, and it’s almost never a positive comment? How effective is that person? Who do they have to live with every single day of their life all day long? Themselves!
Who do you have to live with every single day of YOUR life all day long? You!
Instead of wanting the world to “change” or the person to “change” what if we changed ourselves with just one small tactic, a tactic Abraham Lincoln used?
Lincoln said, “I don’t like him. I must get to know him better.”
When he did this, he shouldered the load for bettering the situation onto himself… and think of the weight he already carried during his presidency.
When you can find a common ground with a person you don’t like, you start to discover why they come to the conclusions that they do.
This might not lead to “agreement” but it does lead to understanding. And with understanding comes new possibility, new avenues for progress, and new lines of communication.
When you take a genuine interest in others, even “the others” you don’t like, the law of reciprocation goes into effect: they will do the same to you.
Try it. Someone has got to go first. That someone is you, if you’re a Leader.
Keep Leading.
