We Are All Damaged

What I’ve learned about Love, Life, and the pursuit of happiness.

Here I am a 42-year old Divorcee back on the market again. I’m back out there trying to figure this thing out and I can assure you it’s not easy. It’s not easy for one major reason though. That reason is that everyone you meet has been damaged.

Now as a man I can only speak for what I see in the women I have met along the way. I see women damaged by the very men that they once thought were their “Prince Charming”. As I begin to get to know people I start to see the fear in their eyes that I could be damaged too. That I could be like the men who were in their lives before me. I see them pushing me away because they can’t help but think that I can’t be what I claim to be.

I see women damaged by men who thought it was too cool to admit they loved someone. I see women damaged emotionally and some physically by these men in their lives. Life is hard enough, but for some reason, it seems the hardest thing to convince a woman is that she deserves a good man. It’s hard to convince them to stop going after the same type man over and over again.

It’s hard to convince a woman that I truly am who I say I am. I’m a faithful, honest, hardworking man that believes women are special. Now I know that even as some of you read this you still think its a ploy to lure you into my trap, but it’s not at all. I just don’t know how to get past the damage without pointing it out first. You see I know Love is not some feeling that we get when two sets of eyes meet and suddenly we have whisked away into some dreamland of Love. I know that Love is hard work.

What I don’t know is how to find someone who wants to work as hard as I do to make it work. I don’t know how to get past the damage and get a chance to show someone, who I really am is exactly what you see. One word of advice that has always helped me move past my past has always stuck with me. It was that “You never paint a new painting with the same dirty brush you used on the last canvas”.

I used to wonder what that meant, but now I finally know. It means that I can’t allow the shortcomings of others to influence how I feel about or treat someone else. Yes, I have been cheated on, but that doesn’t mean every woman will cheat. Yes, I have been lied too, but that doesn’t mean the next woman I meet is a liar.

So that’s all I’m really looking for in someone. I’m looking for someone that understands that it’s gonna be hard work at some point. I’m looking for someone that will fight as hard as I will to save what we have, and I’m looking for someone to throw away that old brush and start a new painting along with me, because we may all be damaged, but none of us are broken unless we allow it.